


Felicity's story

by MillieR



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-15 20:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillieR/pseuds/MillieR
Summary: Felicity is kidnapped for two years until she escapes. When she gets back home will everything be normal again? Will she still be the same person? How will Oliver react? and is she ever going to be safe?Written ages ago so it might not be any good. I might not post regularly but please stick with me. Also please check out my other story called Felicity's battle and there will be another story I'm going to post soon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this. It's probably not very good as I wrote it ages ago. Please leave kudos and reviews.

The kidnapping

2 years ago…

Felicity was walking out of verdant after a long night of catching low-life criminals. She was the last one, other than Oliver, to leave. Oliver was still down in the basement training till exhaustion.

Her mind was filled with inappropriate thoughts such as What is Oliver doing now? Is he doing the salmon ladder shirtless and sweaty?. These were thoughts she definitely shouldn't be having about Oliver because she was only hurting herself by thinking of him when she knew he didn't like her like that. She wasn't concentrating on where she was going or what was happening around her, that was dangerous normally, but was extremely dangerous if you worked for starling city's own green arrow. That was when she felt big, strong hands over her mouth and body, holding her still.

She tried to scream but she couldn't through the hand on her mouth. She started to panic and started struggling against his hold with everything she had. She'd done a few training sessions with Digg and she hadn't been that bad at them but now, when faced with actual danger, she couldn't remember any of the sessions or things he'd taught her to get out of holds like this. She stopped struggling however, when she felt the cold tip of a blade at her throat. 

“I don't want to hurt you, I just figured I could kill two birds with one stone.” Her attacker said in a horrifyingly familiar voice. “ I know you are working with the arrow and kidnapping you will mean that he wont be able to track down criminals, or it will at least take a lot longer, and he most definitely wont be able to defeat other great hackers like me and my team when we attack. That and I finally can get my sweet revenge on you for getting me locked up in jail, so I am going to put you in your own little jail.” Her blood ran cold as she realised who her attacker was, her ex-boyfriend from collage, Cooper Seldon. 

Felicity had created a 'super virus' in collage and Copper had tried to get rid of student loans with it, leaving a trace, and he went to jail for it even though it was her code. He killed himself in jail the day before sentencing and it had broke Felicity. Well, I guess he didn't really kill himself because he is obviously not dead. 

Cooper tied something over her mouth and eyes and then tied her ankles and wrists together, all whilst keeping his knife in contact with her skin, the looming threat of what he could do to her kept her still. He then threw Felicity in the back of his blacked out car with the number plate covered on the back of it. He'd already hacked in to the traffic cameras and turned them off for the night so they couldn't catch him. 

Cooper drove for hours on end. Finally when he stopped he dragged Felicity out of the car and took off her ankle ties so she could walk. He continued to drag her tired and aching body in to a big building in the middle of nowhere. The building had lots of cells and there was one side of the building that was for the girls and the other was for the boys.

He took Felicity to the girs section and thew her in her own grungy cell. Cooper ripped off the gag and blindfold and then took off her wrist ties. He knew she wouldn't fight back, especially not now as he had some of his guards behind him. 

Felicity could see and feel eyes on her. Some people were glaring, some were looking at her with sympathy, some looked at her with bored expressions as if this happens all the time (which to be fair it probably does), and others weren't looking at all. She was shaking uncontrollably.

She looked up at Cooper and saw he had the same deep brown hair as he'd always had and was dressed in all black, like the prisoners, apart from he had a belt of weapons on him. 

Felicity knew they were out of Starling City as they had driven for too long to still be there, and that meant Oliver would not be able to find her, not without her help anyway so she was screwed. But she knew she couldn't loose hope or stop fighting because otherwise she wouldn't survive this,she wouldn't make it out ever, and she'd become as bored and expressionless as some of these poor people in here.

“Make yourself at home, you won't be going anywhere for a long time. Tomorrow you will start training at 5 am, you will eat breakfast and dinner but no lunch, you will be given the chance to go to the toilet in those times, you will shower for a short time everyday at the end of the day. You will be given some clothes, new ones every two days. If you fail to complete a task we have given to you, you will be punished. You will also be punished if you try to escape. Understood?” He asked her, though she didn't understand why he would ask her if she understood, if she didn't she doubted he'd repeat it for her if she said no, so she just nodded her head and gulped. “Good” he said and walked out, locking the electronic cell behind him, and his guards following him down the hall.

She sat thee frozen, she didn't know how long for, but a man came in and gave her two pairs of clothes and demanded she got changed before walking out. She let out a shaky breath before getting changed in to the new clothes, the other prisoners looking away out of respect because they'd all want the same. 

She sa in the corner of the cell in a black tank top and black leggings, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them. She was in shock and she wanted Oliver. She sounded weak and like a cry baby when she said that but she didn't care, she would give anything to bee back in Starling city with Oliver right now. Th e thought of him safe and looking for her, even if it was a lost cause, settled her nerves slightly.

Eventually Felicity fell in to a restless sleep against the hard rock walls of the cell.


	2. The escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to present time and Felicity tries to escape the prison.

The escape

Now

Felicity was bruised everywhere, not from fighting practice because she was good at that, amazing actually, she had experience from watching Oliver, Sara, Roy, Thea, Laurel, and Digg training, and from her self defence lessons from Digg. She was stronger than a lot of the people here. Her bruises were from her beatings. On the first week she spent here she'd been whipped and beaten repeatedly because she kept trying to escape, because she didn't want t give up. After that week they thought she'd given up on her stupid escape mission just as all of the other prisoners had, because that's when she stopped fighting to get out and started doing exactly as she was told, but it was all part of her long term plan. 

Her plan was to get stronger and earn more of their trust and then she'd slowly gain privileges. They awarded prisoners here if they had been very loyal, trustworthy and been fighting well they would get different prizes such as nice food like chocolate cake, or to play games on a tablet. Felicity had learnt of this after her first week and this is what she'd planned for over the past two years. The internet was blocked on the tablets obviously, but she could change that with a little hacker magic. Then, because the cells were electric, she could hack in to the system and open them all. It was a good plan and it would work, but it had taken her two years to earn enough trust to get her the tablet, she only had one shot at this.

The timing had to be perfect for this plan to work. She knew how long it took for Cooper (the leader) to get back to his office on the other side of the building and once he got there she could set her plan in motion. Everyone together could easily take down the guards but Cooper, he had been not only been heavily trained, but he had been doing some drug testing on himself to try and copy the mirakuru that Slade used, he didn't manage it, but he definitely did manage to make himself much stronger so he would be harder to defeat.

Even though she had trust now, they still beat her every month with the whip and without weapons once a week to remind her who's boss, hence the bruises.

She was setting her plan in motion tomorrow. She's had the tablet a few times last week but she needed some more trust before she was left alone with it and she new by now they would not suspect anything and trust her with it without them continuously watching her, so now they wouldn't expect it and would be caught off guard if she were to do something with it. 

That night she went to sleep thinking her plan through again and again, making sure there was nothing wrong with it. No one knew about her plan because she couldn't risk anyone slipping up and telling one of the guards or anything like that, but she knew they would be happy to be free. That night she dreamt about going home and seeing Oliver and becoming the old Felicity Smoak again, like she did most nights but tonight the dream felt almost reachable.

 

Felicity woke up at 4:30 am and put her glasses on, which they'd let her keep because what good would she be to them in their 'army' if she couldn't see anything? That's what the prisoners were by the way army members, the only difference was these fighters deserved no respect for what they are fighting for. Cooper was preparing soldiers to start and then continue to fight a war and he wouldn't stop hurting and training these people until he was sure his army was big enough.

After felicity brushed and put up her hair with the limited supplies she had been given within her first week, everyone was released from their cells and led to the place where they were to eat for the next 20 minuets. There were approximately 20 guards that led the girls to the hall all loaded with guns and other weapons so the prisoners/soldiers in training wouldn't fight back. They wouldn't even try.

They ate their breakfast in silence and went to the toilets since they could only go during breakfast or dinner. Then they started their training for the day.

They fought each other, dummies, and punching bags and did pull ups, press ups, threw knives and shot arrows (which reminded her so much of Oliver it hurt), and shot guns. Throwing knives was her favourite bit, it was the first thing she''d fully grasped when she got here and it never got old. It worried her that she now liked throwing knives, Felicity Smoak who used to not even be able to punch correctly and watched old TV series on repeat for fun no enjoyed throwing knives.

They did this until dinner when they were sent to their cells to eat alone. She was given a tablet to use after dinner and as soon as Cooper handed it to her she set a timer for 15 minuets, and set it so it would just pop up on the screen and not actually make any sound to draw attention to herself. She got 2 hours she was allowed on her tablet each time she got it, and it took 15 minuets for Cooper to get back to his office.

She got everything she needed to hack the wifi and the cells up and ready on the screen so all she'd have to hit was enter, and as soon as the tablets notification popped up she hit it. She was not only in the wifi but all of the cameras were off and all of the alarms were off too. The cells then opened. Quickly everyone emerged from their cell and looked to the still bottle blonde hacker who had a somewhat proud look on her face. She was proud at herself for remembering how to hack after all this time 'like riding a bicycle' she thought to herself. 

The 5 guards that were near them came at them but they quickly took them all down. When they were defeated the girls all turned to Felicity once again wanting an explanation.

“I-uh-I hacked the system” She said, bit her lip and shrugged. They all nodded in return. They needed to get out of here, it wouldn't be long until more guards came or the cameras and alarms were back up. Felicity started running down the hallway, hoping the others would follow.

She reached the boys in there section of cells and saw the 5 unconscious guards on their floor. “common we don't have long” She told them not bothering to answer their curious gazes. 

They ran until they reached two doors which Felicity continued to open, but then the alarms sounded which made everyone run even faster, if the alarms were back online it wouldn't be long before they got control of everything again and managed to lock everyone inside. 

They ran outside and they only had a second of relief before they saw more guards. There were lots of them and they all had guns. None of the prisoners backed down though, they couldn't otherwise they would have to either stay here and die or be severely punished. So they attacked. Eventually all of the guards were defeated and people started running again after taking weapons from the defeated guards, but not Felicity. She turned around to see a young teenage boy who was maybe 14, if not 13, being held at gun point by a man they had clearly missed. The guard was about to press the trigger and all she could think to do was yell out “Hey!” and that's exactly what she did.

The guard whipped around and faced his gun at her instead. Felicity had gained a gun from one of the unconscious guards and was now holding it towards the guard. They both shot at the same time and Felicity managed to duck. She saw her bullet sink in to the guards chest as he collapsed to the floor and she realised he was definitely more than unconscious; he was dead.   
Felicity stood shocked, looking between the gun in her hands and the guy she'd just killed. The boy walked up to her. “Thank you,” He said “Are you allright?” concern was now in the boys voice and at first she thought t was because of her shocked features, but when she followed his gaze she saw he was looking at a bullet whole in her shoulder which was already starting to drip with blood.

She then felt a sharp growing pain shoot through her shoulder and down her arm. She hissed at the pain and held her arm closely to her chest, biting her lip. “Yeah I'm fine, just keep running.” she told the boy and that's what they did. They caught up with the others, running with them, until she was stopped once again.

“Felicity, what's wrong?” One of the only friends she'd been able to make in that place said to her. Shannon was her name.

“I'm fine, let's just go, we have to get as far away from here as possible.” Felicity said brushing off her younger friends concern. 

Everyone ran in a random direction until they reached a bus stop. Everyone stopped, said good bye to some, thanked others, and ignored the rest, before splitting ways on their travels home. 

“You should come with me” Shannon said when they were the only two left. Felicity shook her head.

“Can't, I've been fighting in there for two years to get back to my family, there is no way I'm not getting back to them now” She said and Shannon nodded in understanding. “Goodbye” Felicity said.

“Bye” Shannon said in reply. They both smiled at each other before running off in different directions.

Felicity knew it was not short journey ahead of her. It had taken Cooper hours to bring her to this place when she first got here so it would take a really long time to walk or run the whole journey back to Starling, but she started on the long journey anyway. She frowned at her throbbing shoulder and knew that it was going to make this so much more difficult than it already was. 

She ran for hours and hours on end until t was light again. She was so beyond tired and she felt like she might pass out any second, but she had to keep going. She kept going until she saw a taxi driving up te road she was on. She stuck her hand out to hail it and it pulled up beside her. 

Opening the back door she said “Before I get in, I don't have any money on me but I swear to you that once I get to my destination I will have money, so please take me there.” She was practically begging this man. 

“I don't know” The unsure driver said looking at her wearily. His eyebrows creased together after studying her for a minuet. “Do I know you? What's your name?” He asked.

“Felicity Smoak” She said in a small hoarse voice.

“Oh my god, you're that girl who went missing aren't you? Yes I will drive you, get in the car. Where to? Starling City I presume?” Asked the now eager to help cab driver.

“Yes please” She replied. “Can you take me to the Queens mansion?” She asked and the man nodded at her in his mirror and started driving after setting the satnav. She would ask hi to go to the foundry, but it would seem weird if Felicity, a girl who was missing, went straight to the club after being kidnapped for two years. Plus Felicity didn't know if 'team arrow' was still based under Verdant, or if they were even doing 'team arrow' any more. 

“Mr Queen hasn't been the same since you left. There was a reporter who sent out an article saying how Oliver seemed to be depressed a week after you were gone and suggested it was because you were more than just his secretary and that you were in fact a 'slut',his words not mine, who got her job on her knees, but he wouldn't hear of it. He made a speech about how you two were friends and had every right to be upset that you were gone and how you were an amazing person and stuff like that. Then another reported printed a story saying he was defending you because he was in love with you and Mr Queen stayed quiet after that. He's been distant too apparently, according to the reporters anyway. He's till the CEO of QC but he hasn't hired a new EA, and His step-dad, or ex step-dad, I don't know, Walter Steel has stepped in a lot but everyone still knows Oliver's the real boss and that he is just going through a tough time...”

And the driver continued to babble on.

 

Oliver was sat in the basement of Verdant staring at a picture he had of Felicity which they had placed next to her dusty computers. “Still no sign or her.” He said as Diggle walked in.

Digg sighed. “Oliver man, she might not… There might be no sign of her because she might be...” Digg trailed off, not even wanting to think of what he was about to say.

“No! She is not dead Diggle!” Oliver growled in return. “I-i can feel it., she's alive, I know it.” He said softer this time. He'd been like this since she'd gone missing. In denial, and sometimes having random bursts of anger. He had still been doing his arrow job but not nearly as well as he had been as he didn't have his small bottle blonde hacker to help him or to guide him. “I gotta go to the mansion, Thea wanted to have a day just watching films together and I promised her that.” Oliver told Digg and walked out. 

He was mad at Digg for even suggesting that Felicity might be…. Dead. He knew she was alive because he would have felt something if she died, because there would have been a part of him that would die too, he would be able to feel it, he knew he would.

Oliver headed back to the mansion and sat and watched films with Thea on the couch with blankets and buckets of popcorn.

 

The driver dropped Felicity off at the mansion and then he noticed the wound on her shoulder, which was now covered with blood. “Oh my god, you were shot! We need to get you to a hospital!” he cried frantically. 

“I'm fine. I'll be back with money in a minuet.” She told him weakly whilst starting to walk away. 

“No… no don't worry about it, It's on me” He told Felicity still watching her with concerned eyes. “But you do need to see a doctor”

“Thanks, and I will, there's just something I have to do first.” She said and walked away, hearing him drive off behind her. It was id-day now and Felicity slept for about an hour in the car but she was still exhausted. 

Felicity walked to a security details watching the Queen mansion and one of them recognised her. “Wait you're Felicity Smoak.  
. Have you gone to the police? Or a doctor, you need a doctor for that arm of yours.” He said in a rush. 

“I-I just need Oliver” She said quietly and the man nodded in understanding, and he let her through to the front door. 

She walked up the steps and tentatively rang the doorbell.

When Thea opened the door she saw Felicity and her eyes went wide. “Ollie, come here now!” The younger Queen shouted for her brother and Oliver came running to the door within seconds. 

“What is it Speedy? I thought you were- Felicity?” He asked when he saw her standing there and he froze.

“Hi, Oliver” She said in a small quiet voice with tears in her eyes.

He ran forward and wrapped her in his arms and she hugged back ignoring the extreme protest in here shoulder for as long as she could because he smelled of home and safety and… Oliver. “Oliver, let her go.” Thea demanded, prying her brother off the fragile blonde as she noticed the wound on her shoulder.

Oliver took in her pale face, her dark eyes, and the way she was barely standing and then noticed the bullet hole. “Oh y god, Thea, call Digg tell him to meet us at the hospital,” he said.

They all got in to Thea's car and she drove whilst Oliver sat with Felicity in the back seats. When they reached the hospital Felicity was barely conscious so Oliver carried her in. Luckily the doctors came straight to her because she had a bullet in her shoulder, she was loosing blood fast, and she had just came back from being missing.

Felicity was taken in to surgery where they managed to remove the bullet and stitch up her shoulder. Then they checked her whole body stitching any wounds that needed it and prescribing her with pain meds for them and her shoulder. They saw how badly she suffered in that place.

Felicity was put to sleep and was now lying motionless in the hospital gown in a hospital bed, but she was home.


	3. Team arrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity wakes up in the hospital.

Team Arrow

Felicity woke up three hours later and saw Oliver, who looked exhausted, sitting in the chair placed right next to her bed watching the TV which currently had some random program playing. She quietly turned her head and saw Digg was sitting in a chair on the other side of her, also watching the TV. She quietly sat up without drawing any attention from either of her boys and started watching the TV thinking that maybe one of them would look around and be shocked by her presence, but neither one turned around.

“This show is terrible.” She commented after 2 more minuets of them not noticing her making both men stare at her, shocked.

“Felicity” Oliver breathed out “You're awake” He was speaking like he couldn't quite believe it.

Felicity offered him a small smile “Yeah” she agreed.

“I'm glad you're back Felicity, we all missed you” Digg said with his own small smile and Felicity nodded at him, whilst wondering how much of a big deal her coming back would be.

Oliver wrapped Felicity in his warm embrace which made her momentarily feel so safe and at home and she just wanted to break down crying, but she didn't. She couldn't. She just hugged him back, allowing herself 5 seconds before she pulled away. She was then embraced by Diggle and she hugged him back for the same amount of time before pulling away once again. Once Digg sat down again a more serious look crossed his face. 

“The police are outside; they want to speak to you” Digg told her. “I told them you might not be in the mood for talking but they wanted to wait and see if you would.”

Felicity shook her head at this, telling him it was fine. “Detective Lance?” She asked hopefully, she wanted to make sure he was still well and it would be easier to do this in front of someone who understands her. Or at least he did understand her, before all this happened.

Digg nodded and Felicity was glad. “I'll talk to them now.” She said in a quiet voice and she looked back to Oliver who was staring at her. When she did she was reminded that he was the only reason she got through it all, the beatings and everything, He made her pull through all of it. It wasn't just because she wanted to get back to him, but also because she had thought of how strong he must have been on the island and how that was probably much worse. She exhaled shakily and looked away.

Digg got up and took reluctant Oliver with him and seconds later Detective Lance and another Cop entered the room. Lance looked at her and was momentarily shocked, but regained his composure. He wasn't shocked because she was alive and here because he obviously knew that, he was shocked because even though she looked exactly the same on the outside (from what he could see anyway) if you looked in to her eyes you could tell she was someone completely different. 

“Miss Smoak, happy to see you again” He said trying to make it sound casual but she could hear the genuine relief behind his words. “I'm sorry to have to do this so soon but it's protocol. Can you tell me what has happened in the last few years? What happened when you were kidnapped, who it was, that kind of thing.” Lance really did look genuinely sorry as he looked at her.

Felicity looked down at the ground and then back up at the cops. “I was… distracted” She started, thinking how stupid it was that she was distracted by a man when she got kidnapped, she should have known better. She was smarter than that for God's sake! She shook her head, swallowed hard and continued speaking. “The kidnapper he came out of nowhere and put his hands over my mouth and a blade to my throat so I wouldn't fight back. I as outside the club, Verdant, as I had been meeting a friend there and my kidnapper came out of nowhere and restrained, blindfolded and gagged me. He shoved me in the car and drove me hours away.” She took a deep breath and looked Lance dead in the eye as she said the next bit. “He said he thought I was working with the Arrow which, by the way, I think is the weirdest assumption anyone has ever made for me but I was flattered that anyone thought I was capable of such heroism.” Lance nodded his head and raised his eyebrows a bit, indicating she'd started off on a mini ramble. She bit her lip a little before continuing. “Anyway, he said he wanted the arrow weaker so he could commit a crime without being stopped. His name was Cooper Seldon,” She told them, his name leaving a horrid taste in her mouth. “He-uh-he was my ex-boyfriend. He'd been arrested and he blamed me for it even though I had done nothing to get him there” She said lying slightly. “He faked his death in jail and I-” She cut her self off swallowing hard. “He wanted revenge on me so he locked me up. I was there for two years, earning his trust and other privileges, such as gaining access to a tablet and because I am good with electronic items so I was able to hack in to the electronic cells and open them all letting everyone free. There were others there too, lots of them, but they all went their own way.” Felicity finished and looked down at her hands. 

“So, you went to the Queen mansion first, before coming to get help from us or the hospital?” Lance asked.

“I was friends with both Thea and Oliver before I went missing. I needed to see them and tell them I was back myself without them seeing it on the news and I needed to check that they were still okay.” She replied biting her lip once more.

“You didn't think to go to a hospital for your wounds first?” The other detective demanded looking suspicious. Felicity didn't like the fact she was being treated as the criminal when she was the exact opposite.

She glared at the other cop. “I had been kidnapped and without anyone I know for the last two years, I needed to see a friendly face okay?” She snapped at him and took a deep breath, shutting her eyes as she did so. She knew she shouldn't have snapped at him, he was just doing his job, but still she didn't apologise because he didn't know what she was going through so he shouldn't question her motives.

“Okay thank you miss Smoak.” Lance said to her “Do you think we can talk privately for a minuet, as friends?” he asked eyebrows raised and she nodded. Lance gave a small nod to the other cop who then proceeded to walk out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 

Lance looked back at Felicity as she looked up at him once more. “Does 'our mutual friend in green' know you're back? And that he was one of the reasons you were kidnapped in the first place?” He asked.

“Yeah, he knows I'm back, I made sure he did. As for why I was taken? No. I didn't tell him, he has enough weight on his shoulders as it is and I won't add to that. Under it all, the man in the hood is still just a man.” Felicity told him with an emotion, Lance couldn't quite place, swimming in her eyes and he nodded.

Lance gave her a small smile and walked over to her and gave her a small hug which she returned. “I am glad you're back” He told her before walking out. She noticed how he didn't say 'I'm glad you're okay'. Maybe it was because he could tell she wasn't 'okay', or maybe she was reading too much in to one word choice.

Felicity lied back on her hospital bed just staring at the plain white ceiling. This is something she did a lot in that place, she would stare at the ceiling until she couldn't keep her eyes open any more and would fall to sleep.

 

A little while later Felicity's doctor came in. “Miss Smoak, how are you feeling?” The doctor asks kindly.

“Great” Felicity lied with a smile. Felicity wasn't sure if she would ever feel great again, but she did know she wanted to get out of here and she wouldn't accomplish that by saying how she really felt. 

The doctor then gave a small smile of sympathy to Felicity before saying “Okay, well, as long as you take it easy you can leave tonight, in the meantime some people would like to see you if that's okay?”

Felicity nods towards the doctor and sits up once again. “Yeah, okay thank you.” She tells her with a small smile.

A few seconds later Laurel, Thea, Roy, Diggle and Oliver walked in. Laurel and Thea straight away ran up to Felicity and hugged her tight, but being careful of her wound. Felicity hugged back just as tightly ignoring the protest in her shoulder. Once they let go of her Roy walked over and gave her a tight hug as well.

“Good to have you back Blondie” He said as he pulled back with a smile and tears in his eyes. Felicity looked around the room and saw everyone else had tears in their eyes too, even Oliver. Tears quickly made their way to Felicity's eyes too, but she quickly blinked them away.

Oliver was the first to come and sit down, he sat in the same seat as before and grabbed hold of her hand lightly running his thumb along it. Roy then sat in the chair on the other side of her and Thea sat in his lap which showed Felicity they were still together which filled a little bit of her with joy because they were always a good couple. Diggle then sat on the end of her hospital bed and Laurel just stood there awkwardly as there were no seats left. 

Laurel and Felicity had become close friends before she was kidnapped, after she'd told Laurel to be her own black canary they'd started spending more time with each other outside of the foundry. Felicity shifted in her hospital bed closer to Oliver's side and patted the space she'd freed up indicating that Laurel should sit there, and that's what she did. Laurel settled in to the bed next to Felicity, glad that her little babbling inspirational friend was back.

Everyone smiled small smiles at each other. “So, how long until you're allowed out?” Digg asked. 

“Not long, I can leave tonight which is probably not far away, as long as I take care of myself” She told them and he nodded.

“After you are better we will start up our self defence classes again.” Digg told her and her small smile from earlier was gone. If she fought with Diggle he would be likely to find out she had been trained. She didn't know why but she did not want them to know, it was probably to do with the fact that she was so different now and she wanted them to see her as the same IT girl as before. She kind of got how Oliver must have felt coming back from the island, wanting everything to go back to the way it once was.  
“Uh, yeah we could, or maybe, like, not?” Felicity said with raised eyebrows and a fake smile, stuttering slightly. Everyone looked at her confused. They didn't understand why she didn't want to be taught how to defend herself after being kidnapped in case it happened again.

“What why not?” Asked Digg who was more than confused.

“I just don't think it's necessary” Felicity said biting her lip and trying to come up with an excuse.

“Of course it's necessary Felicity we need to know you can protect yourself because we don't want to- I can't loose you again.” Oliver growled at her. She knew he wasn't mad at her and that he was just scared so she wasn't scared by this. In all honesty she didn't think she could ever be scared of Oliver.

Felicity sighed in defeat and shook her head. “Fine when I'm better.” She told them and both Oliver and Digg nodded.

“So anyway, what have I missed?” Felicity asked turning to Laurel first with a small smile to change the subject.

“Nothing with me, still doing the same job, and I did have a boyfriend but it didn't work out.” Laurel sad shrugging and Felicity nodded before turning to Thea and Roy.

“What about you two?” She asked.

“Hmm, wel we got engaged” Showing Felicity the beautiful ring on her finger. 

A smile came onto Felicity's face. “Oh my God congratulations! How long ago?” She asked.

“Only a month ago.” Roy told her smiling.

“When's the wedding? Or do you not know yet?” Felicity asked them. 

“June 27th Thea said with a smile. “And you are definitely invited and being a bridesmaid!” Thea told her excitedly.

“No I can't, I mean, You've been planning this already. I will come to the wedding if you really want me to but not as a bridesmaid it will mess up all of your plans.” Felicity told the youngest Queen.

“No way, you are definitely being a bridesmaid, you can't deny the bride of what she wants.” Thea said raising her eyebrows at the blonde hacker. 

“Yeah, and anyway, we've only decided on the maid of honour, the best man, the date and then the place. We've not done anything else. So please?” Roy asks her.

“Fine” Felicity gives in and sighs which made Thea smile grow even bigger. 

“Thank God!” Thea exclaimed and Felicity gave another weak smile. Felicity wanted to show how happy she was for the young couple but she just couldn't get the smile to form or be genuine. 

“So Diggle what's new with you?” Felicity asked turning to Digg after the excitement died down.

“Nothing really, baby Sara's growing up, Lyla's well and good and so am I, and I've been taking care of Oliver.” Digg says making Felicity worried.

“Wait, what happened to Oliver?” She asked panicked.

“Oh no nothing, I just meant he has been down since you went missing and without you there to support him he needs help to not make stupid decisions.”Diggle replied with a small smirk.

Felicity turned to Oliver who she saw was looking right at her and took a deep breath. “So what about you?”She asked him trying to not look away when they made eye contact.

She didn't need to worry about not looking away though because he did it for her, staring at the floor. Taking his own deep breath he replied with “Lots, I've been really busy, just doing the usual CEO and Arrow duties.” She knew he was lying for many reasons, but it still hurt that he'd pretend he'd been doing just fine without her, and so she looked down at her hands again.

“That is so not true!” Thea points out.

“Yeah, he's been doing his vigiante-ing but it hasn't been as efficient as when you were here and part of the team tracking down the villains. He was moping around about you the whole time, but he never gave up hope that you were still alive, he wouldn't let anyone tell him different. He said he could feel that you-” Roy was cut off by Oliver.

“Thank you Roy” He said loudly.

“I-uh-heard you go annoyed at some reporters.” Felicity said turning back to him.

“How would you know that?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Gossipy cab driver.” She told them.

“Wait, you had money?” Laurel questioned, confused.

“No, he drove me for free because I was a missing person” Felicity replied and shrugged her shoulders which she immediately regretted as pain shot through her shoulder. Her hand flew to her wound and she bit her lip and winced but she didn't make a sound.

Everyone looked at her with sympathy and concern, but Felicity just took another deep breath, released her lip from her teeth, placed her hand back in her lap, and offered them all a weak smile.

At that moment Laurel's phone went off with a text message that said she was needed at the DA's office. “Sorry, I've got to go, I'll see you later though, yeah?” She asked Felicity who replied with a nod. 

“We have to go to, we have this thing, don't we Roy?” Thea said as a bad excuse to leave the three original team members together as Felicity might open up more to them. 

“Wait, what?” Roy asked confused until Thea gave him a look which made him go “Oh right yeah! Sorry guys, we've got a thing.” and they both walked off together and with Laurel. 

Felicity rolled her eyes. “You know I think bad excuses run in the Queen family.” She tells Oliver who playfully glares at her whilst Diggle laughs and nods.

“I'll have you know my excuses are pretty good actually.” He tells her, trying to break some of the tension by playing around a bit.

“Oh really, you don't recall the multiple conversations we had like 'I spilled coffee on my laptop' 'It has bullet holes in it' 'my coffee shops in a bad neighbour hood' or 'why is the energy drink in a syringe?' 'I ran out of sports bottles'?” She joked imitating his voice for his parts making Digg laugh. 

“Yeah man, you've got to admit, your excuses really do suck.” Digg told him still laughing.

“Yours are worse. Remember 'Oliver! I'm sorry to interrupt but I need to talk to you about your evening plans with Mr Harper'?” He argued even though he knew his argument was weak.

“That's not even that bad. Plus you weren't listening to me then so what other choice did I have? Anyway, babbling and Freudian slips are my bad quality, not bad excuses, that's your thing.” Felicity told him feeling that she'd won the argument.

“Hey Felicity do you remember 'I'm pretty particular about what I put in my body' 'I've noticed'” Dig jokes making both himself and Oliver laugh whilst Felicity just playfully glares just as Oliver was doing earlier.

“Hey, Felicity what about this one?” Oliver says and comes closer to her to whisper in her ear. “Remember when you were in that casino, what was it you said again? 'It feels really good having you inside of me?'” He whispered it so only she could hear and he pulled away with a smirk.

Felicity's face went red and she put it in her hands whilst she groaned “Oh my God” through her embarrassment. She honestly couldn't believe he remembered that, or would joke about it.

“What” Digg asks and Oliver goes to tell him but the death glare Felicity sends his way cuts him off.

“Nothing” Felicity said answering for him. Digg just chuckled at the pair and squeezed Felicity's good shoulder once.

Although Felicity was embarrassed it still felt good to laugh and forget everything even if it was just for a second until the doctor interrupted.

“Sorry to interrupt” She says coming in to the room. “But we need to put a sling on that arm, and you're probably in a lot of pain so we'll start you on pain meds in a bit.” Oliver was confused.

“Wait, she'd not on pain meds?” He asked and the doctor shook her head.

“Why?” She asked.

“Because she'd not been showing any signs of pain” Oliver replied turning to face Felicity again. 

The doctor looked concerned. “Really I'm fine, just put the sling on.” Felicity said in an assuring voice, the doctor sighed but nodded.

“Okay this will hurt.” She warned. The doctor moved Felicity's arm and let the doctor put it in the sling she'd tied around Felicity's neck. It wasn't that it didn't hurt because it did, it hurt like hell, but she had learnt how to disguise and get through pain, and showing pain made you weak, and she would never be weak again.

“Okay, I'm going to give you some pain meds now because you might be feeling a little bit shocked and the adrenaline might be numbing the pain, but once that stops there will be lot of it” The doctor tells her and Felicity doesn't try and argue.

The doctor injects Felicity with some pain meds and both Digg and Oliver are shocked when she doesn't flinch at the needle entering her arm.

“These medicines will make you drowsy, I'll be back later to see how you are but you should try and get some rest for now.” Her doctor said before walking out.

Felicity was starting to feel the drowsiness kick in and Oliver helps her to lay back down on to her bed and carefully places a kiss on her forehead. 

“I'm going to head out and get us some food and coffee, are you coming?” She heard Digg ask through her haze although he knew what the answer would be already.

Oliver hesitates as he looks to Felicity and back at Diggle. He wanted to stay with Felicity and never leave her side, but he doesn't know if she'll want him there, if she'll think he's being to crowding.

She senses his worry even in her drugged state and knows she wants him to stay with her keeping her safe and just being there, even if it's selfish. She reaches out her hand s much as she can and brushes Oliver's hand with hers in an attempt to grab it. His gaze drops to their hands and takes her hand in his. “I'm staying” He told Digg before sitting down next to her once again. 

Digg smiles and walks out leaving them alone.

Oliver sits with her, alone, just watching her for hours, he didn't know where Digg went, he just knew he was giving them some privacy. Oliver didn't get bored of just watching her as he stroked her hair off of her face and occasionally kissing her forehead or hand.

He wishes she would wake up and talk to him about what happened, but he didn't open up to anyone about the island and he didn't expect her to open up about this.


	4. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's nightmares haunt her as she readies to leave the hospital. CanOliver help her? Will she keep her secrets buried?

Nightmares

Felicity is standing outside the old building she was held captive in for 2 years. There were bodies everywhere, all dead: guards, cell mates, Shannon. But there were two people alive and standing: her and Cooper. She looked down at her hands as she felt something cold and heavy in them and she found she was holding a gun. With a stunning realisation she found she had killed these people. All of them. She looked back at the bodies and started backing away from them. She stopped however when Cooper pulled his gun on her.

“Thinking you're smarter than me was your first mistake, thinking I'd let you get away with this was your second. Goodbye bitch.” He said with such venom in his voice. Felicity with shaking hands raised her gun and pulled the trigger to shoot him after gaining the courage, but she found she had no more bullets left. Her eyes widened and she dropped the gun to the floor as Cooper pulled his trigger. The bullet flew through the air and sunk in to her chest. Felicity's body fell limp to the ground. Dead.

She woke with a start and with Oliver shouting at her that he was here and she was safe. Felicity was shaking slightly. She took a deep breath and Oliver held her to his chest as he was sat on the edge of her hospital bed. There were tears in her eyes but they still wouldn't fall. 

“It's okay, you're safe, I won't let them hurt you. Never again.” He whispered his promise to her.

She slowly pulled away from the embrace after she managed to slow her pulse back to normal. “Want to tell me about it?” He asked her so that she knew she could tell him and that he would listen, but he already knew the answer she would give.

Felicity shook her head no, as expected, although part of her did want to tell him everything, she couldn't, wouldn't, he'd see her differently and she couldn't stand that.

“It's okay, just know that I will always be here to talk to, to listen.” He told her and she nodded.

“Thanks” She said in a small gentle voice.

“I'll get the doctor, she said when you wake up you can be released.” He told her with a small smile and she nodded once again. Oliver left the room, leaving her alone for just a few minuets, but it was enough time for her to start scaring herself.

All Felicity could think about was the man she killed, yeah he was a criminal and yes he had done bad, and yeah he was about to kill that boy and then her, but she had no right to end his life. She could have shot him somewhere that would make him fall to the ground or pass out but not die. She didn't have to chose to end his life. What about his family? They'd never get to see him again because of her.

Oliver walked in and saw she was shaking again. He tan over to her and held her face in his hands and stared in to her eyes. “Felicity, it's Oliver, you're safe, Felicity please.” He begged and she looked back in to his eyes and calmed almost instantly. She was keeping something from him and she was afraid of what he would think of her but he still managed to calm her and make her feel safe.

She placed her hands on his hands and squeezed lightly and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath in and out and released his hands before opening her eyes gain. He took his hands from her face and stepped a few steps away to stand next to her so she could see the doctor.  
“I was going to say you can go home, but now I'm not so sure” The doctor said and studied her. “I'm going to prescribe you with some Xanax for any panic attacks because I thinking you have PTSD and I think you should start seeing a psychiatrist for that to help you.” She said and Felicity shook her head.

“No, I-I can't” Felicity said in a shaky voice.

“You have to talk to someone or I can't release you because this could have bad connotations if you don't get help for this.” The doctor said looking at her patient with concern. “There is nothing wrong with a little bit of help Miss Smoak” She says.

“I know that but I-” Felicity all but growled at the doctor but she managed to cut herself off before she said something she would regret.

“Felicity you need to get help or you have to stay here.” The doctor argued.

“She'll talk to me.” Oliver said speaking up. He knew Felicity probably wouldn't want to speka to him but he just wanted to help her.

“That's all well and good but she needs to speak to a professional. Three times a week?” The doctor suggested.

Felicity sighed. “Once a week.” She bargained.

“Twice a week.” The doctor rose it, she knew getting Felicity to agree to even once a week was good but she had to push it anyway.

Felicity shook her head and the doctor sighed. “okay fine, I will arrange for you to meet with a psychologist starting next week, every Friday morning at 10am.” She passes Felicity some papers and a pen. “Sign these and I'll get you your prescription which you will also need to sign for and then you can leave. Also your clothes are in a bag there.” The doctor said pointing at the chair Roy sat in earlier and walked out.

Felicity started to sign the release forms and filled in everything she needed to apart from one thing. “Hey Oliver?” She asked.

“Yeah?” He replied.

She sighed and looked up at him. “What day is it?” she asked. Oliver remembered coming back from the island, at least he knew what day it was.

“Wednesday 27th March” He answered her with a small smile.

Felicity finished signing the papers and then the prescriptions, after the doctor returned. She then slowly got up off of the hospital bed, but her legs felt like jelly as she hadn't moved them in a while and they were bruised, and they collapsed under her. Oliver managed to catch her before she fell, placing his hands on her hips so not to hurt her shoulder, but in turn, unbeknownst to Oliver, aggravating an angry bruise. Felicity sucked in a sharp breath and got her footing again. 

Once Oliver was sure she wasn't going to fall as soon as he let her go, he removed his hands from her and took a step back. 

“Miss Smoak, are you okay” Felicity's doctor asked at the door and Felicity just nodded her head before walking over to her clothes. She looked back at her doctor with question in her eyes, without speaking the doctor knew exactly what was being asked of her. “I will wait outside.” She said and left the room.

Felicity then turned to Oliver with the same questioning look in her eyes. “I'll turn around but I'm not leaving you by yourself” He told her. Not because he didn't want have a moment without her now that she was back, but because she was having panic attacks anyway and getting changed made you vulnerable so he knew she would feel more panicky anyway so he wanted to be there for her to help and hopefully make her feel safer.

After Oliver turned around Felicity sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and got her clothes out of the bag. She already had on her panties and bra because the doctors has left hem on her, which she was very grateful for. Firstly she took of her sling and then Felicity pulled on her dust leggings and pulled off her hospital gown, replacing it with the black tank top she had been wearing previously. She looked at her tank top and saw the bloodstain and bullet hole on it. Her breathing rapidly increased as she recalled what had happened in her head.

Oliver noticed her fast breathing and turned around, he saw she was having another panic attack and rushed towards her to help. Oliver rushed to reach in to her bag of medicine and got out a Xanax pill and then got her a drink of water from the tap whilst yelling for the doctor within the space of 30 seconds.

The doctor ran in just as Oliver gave Felicity the Xanax and held her to his chest as he calmed down. She breathed a sigh of relief that her patient was okay and she realised that Oliver could take care of Felicity and she had no reason to be worried. She also realised that Felicity would have to have someone stay with her, at least until her panic attacks subsided because she couldn't seem to break out of them without either Oliver comforting her or without Xanax and if she was having a panic attack she would not be able to reach her Xanax because she seems to get lost in her own head.

After a few minuets Felicity calmed down and Oliver released her. He looked down and saw dried blood and bullet hole on her top and he realized why she'd had the panic attack.

Oliver pulled off his sweater leaving him in a black T-shirt, and passes it to her. “Here put this on instead.” He told her with no room for argument. Both him and the doctor turned around, neither wanting to leave her.

Felicity, with shaky hands, took off her tank top and put on Oliver's big sweater which drowned her in Oliver's scent. Getting changed hurt like hell but she wouldn't show it, plus Oliver's Sweater was massive and didn't put pressure on her wound which was good because it didn't add to her pain.

Before Felicity told them she was decent and to turn around, she buried her face in the neck of the sweater and breathed in Oliver's calming scent.

Once they turned around Oliver's breath was taken away as he saw how she looked in his clothes. He swallowed hard before regaining his composure and walking over to her and grabbing the little black pumps she'd had on earlier and slipping them on her feet for her. She felt like Cinderella. Well a more real and damaged version of her. The doctor then re applied her sling making sure both she and Oliver paid attention to how she did it for next time.

“Okay, you are free to go but I'd like for you to stay with someone for at least this first week to check up on you.” The doctor said.  
Felicity started to panic. Not in a panic attack way, but she was still panicking. She hasn't got a house and she didn't want to disturb anyone's life by staying with them. She didn't know what she was going to do. Where she was going to go. 

Oliver placed his big warm hand on her non-injured shoulder and said “She'll stay with me.” looking the doctor dead in the eye. 

Felicity's mouth opened to form an argument but nothing came out. The doctor, noticing her struggle, turned to her. “Is that okay with you Miss Smoak?” She asked.

Oliver truned to Felicity and nodded his head slightly to tell her he really meant it and that she should say yes because he really didn't mind. “Uh, yeah I guess.” Felicity replied looking from Oliver and back to the doctor.

“Then you are free to go.” The doctor told Felicity and smiled at her.

Felicity gave her a small weak smile in return. “Thank you doctor.” She said before standing up, grabbing the bag of her meds, and making her way out with Oliver walking by her side.

As soon as Felicity stepped out of the hospital doors she was surrounded by paparazzi. She couldn't breath, she felt suffocated she was going to have another panic attack.. Oliver stepped in front of her, took the bag of meds from her hand and enveloped her hand in his big one slightly calming her, pushing through the crowed with the hand holding the prescription bag. The crowd of paparazzi shouted questions at them both, shoving cameras and microphones in Felicity's face. She squeezed Oliver's hand tighter and felt fear build up inside of her. Is this how Oliver felt after the island? Threatened by the paparazzi, having to restrain from beating them all up? Because that's how she felt right now.

Felicity's fear subsided somewhat when she saw Digg's car for his 'Black driver/Body guard' role parked just a few steps away. It took another 15 seconds to get to the car but them 15 seconds felt like minuets for Felicity, anxiety inside her almost taking over. She was torn between having a panic attack and beating all of these camera holding disrespectful irritating creeps up. Instead of doing either of those things though, she just squeezed tighter on to Oliver's hand. 

When they reached the car Oliver carefully positioned Felicity in front of her so that no one could reach her. Then he opened the back door of the car and helped Felicity in to it. He was aware of the paparazzi watching him but he didn't care as he got the seatbelt and strapped her shaking body in to her seat before kissing her hand and shutting the door. 

He stepped away and then saw a young paparazzi who looked new at his job go to open Felicity's door to get a better look at her. “Hey!” Oliver shouted, jumping between him and the door. “You stay away from her. She has been through a lot and the last thing she needs is you invading her privacy like that. Don't touch her.” He growled in a voice similar to the arrows making the by gulp. Oliver didn't feel guilty for scaring the kid because he was trying to harm his Felicity and what could he say? He'd always protect his girl. 

Oliver then went and got in to his side of the car and breathed a sigh of relief and placed a comforting hand on Felicity's knee, making sure she was all right.

Digg started driving away towards the mansion. He had wanted to give Felicity and Oliver some alone time in the hospital so he didn't come back after he left. Oliver had text him before she got signed out and told him to be outside the hospital which was where he waited patiently for the two to exit the hospital. 

“Oh my God” Felicity said suddenly.

“What?” Oliver asked turning towards her worried.

“I-I don't have anywhere to live. My house it- I-I don't-” Felicity stutters and stumbles along her words whilst trying to voice her concerns from earlier but Digg cuts her off.

“Actually Oliver kept your house, he kept paying for it, it's still there, has all your stuff in and is very much still yours. He always believed you would come back and he wanted- needed even- for everything to stay just as you left it so you could come back and pick everything up right where you left off. He never stopped searching for you either.” Digg told her and she turned to Oliver shocked.

Oliver was looking down at his feet when she asked “How did you know?”. Oliver shrugged as if it was no big deal.

“I just did, I could feel it. Plus you're the one who told me to always have faith and believe, so I had faith that you were alive and I believed that you would find your way back to us, to me.” Oliver told her, his voice rich with emotion.

Felicity just nodded. She didn't mean to be cold with everyone, but she couldn't help it. She was unintentionally putting up a wall to block her emotions and she couldn't stop it or knock it down. It was easier that way.

“Yeah always have faith.” She repeated quietly, not knowing if she believed that any more. Then realisation hit her. “Wait, if my house is still there and everything then why are we going to the mansion?” She asked.

There is no way you're staying by yourself, doctors orders remember, so I don't care if you say you'll be fine alone, I won't be fine unless you're with me and I know you're safe and I have a bigger house and paparazzi will know to come and look at your house, my mansion has petter protection.” Oliver argued and she sighed.

“Fine” She gave in. She felt a little over crowded but she got it. She wanted to be with Oliver too, he made her feel safe and comfortable.

They pulled up to the house and got out of the car. The three of them were about to enter the house when Oliver stopped them, turning to Felicity. “Thea and everyone else decided to a little surprise gathering but I don't think you'd react well to that right now, so I just thought I would warn you.” He told her and once again she nodded. 

“Thanks” she told him and they entered the house.

“Surprise!” Thea, Laurel, and Roy all shouted as she walked in. She tried to act surprised and must of pulled it off because Thea looked pleased. She was glad Oliver warned her because otherwise she would have registered them as a threat and she didn't know what she would do to them in that case.

They led her to the living room which was bigger than she remembered her whole house being. “Now we are going to catch up on all the good music and movies you've missed in the passed two years and we are going to eat loads of crap, what do you say?” Thea told her excitedly and Felicity nodded for the hundredth time today but with this nod came a genuine smile. It was small but it was there. Thea and everyone else smiled largely (almost creepily) back at her in response.

“What are we waiting for then?” Felicity asked softly. Thea takes her by the hand on her good (right) arm and plops them both down on the massive, comfortable couch. Oliver sits on the other side of Felicity. Digg sits in the arm chair next to Oliver and Laurel sits on the other one and Roy (after getting the junk food) sits on the floor n front of Thea.

First Thea puts on the last of the hunger games films and then plenty more until it gets to 3 am and Felicity can barely keep her eyes open. Felicity had been through a lot today, and her day started at 5am so she was beyond tired.

“Wow” Oliver said checking the time after the last movie finishes. Laurel is asleep in her arm chair and Roy is asleep at Thea's feet and the rest of the team members, other than Thea who is hyped up on sugary sweets, are fighting sleep. “Thea save the rest for tomorrow, we're all going to bed.” Oliver tells her.

“Why what time is it?” Thea asks disappointed.

“Three in the morning, and no one, especially Felicity, has had an easy day today.” Oliver replies before standing up. 

Thea gasps, shocked. Turning to Felicity she says “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up this late I-” Felicity cuts her off.

“Thea, It's fine, really, I don't mind this was great. I'm just tired.” She says and the young brunette nods.

Oliver pulls Felicity's good arm to help her up but she stumbles on her dead legs, and Oliver catches her and picks her up bridal style making Felicity let out a little squeal and the rest of the awake team laughs. 

Oliver says goodnight to everyone and carries a drowsy Felicity up to his room. “Aren't there like a million guest bedrooms?” She asks through her foggy haze of sleep.

“Yes, but none of them have me in it.” Oliver tells her whilst placing her sitting on the end of his bed. Felicity looks down at the bed and blushes. 

“But I-” She tries to argue but she gets cut off.

“How long has it been since you slept in a bed?” He asked her.

She sighed. “Two years.” She told him.

“Exactly, and this is the most comfy bed in the house, and I want to be here for you if you have another nightmare, oh and I want to be able to keep you safe and protect you Felicity. I'll be right here sleeping in that chair in case anything happens.” He told her.

“Fine” she gave in. “But you're not sleeping in the chair, you can sleep in the bed with me, it's your bed and it's big enough.” She told him with no room for argument.

“Fine” He told her.

Felicity looked down at herself and realised she had nothing to change in so she just shook off her pumps and stood up. She pulled back the covers on Oliver's bed and was about to get in when he stopped her. 

“What are you doing?” He asks her.

“Getting in to the bed you insisted on me sleeping in, why?” She asked him tired.

He was slightly taken aback by her sarcasm but figured it was just because she was tired. “Well you can't sleep in that.” He said gesturing to her clothes.

“Fine, I can take off your sweater and put my tank top back on if you don't want me sleeping in it.” She told him slightly embarrassed that she thought she could sleep in it, and also slightly offended.

“No, no, no, It's not that” He was quick to assure her. “But you can't be comfortable n that, here” He said handing her a t-shirt and some clean boxer shorts.

“Uh” Was all she could get out and she flushed red.

“Take them, you can get changed in the bathroom.” He told her and she quickly took them and left.

In the bathroom she took off her sling again and took off Oliver's jumper. She then put on Oliver's top. She tried the Boxers on over her leggings suspecting they might be a little too big for her and she was rght when they fell nd piled round her ankles. Her legs were too bruised to show off anyway so she just stayed in her leggings. She didn't put her sling back on because she wouldn't want to sleep in it. 

Felicity walked back in to the room and saw Oliver was sat in bed already with his shirt off. His breath was once again taken from him at the sight of him in his shirt. Her right shoulder was exposed as the top was too large for her making her look even better in it. Felicity smiled at him hesitantly and placed his boxers on his set of drawers next to his side of the bed. “Yeah, not wearing them, they may be a little too big, plus I haven't shaved my legs in like forever.” She said mumbling the last par, hoping he didn't hear it, but of course he did.

Oliver chuckled at her and her face heated again in embarrassment. Obviously she hated being embarrassed but it was a nice reminder that she was still the babbling embarrassing Felicity Smoak she thought she'd left behind. Well, at least part of her was.

Oliver grabbed her hand gently and said “You know that wouldn't matter right?” and she shrugged with her right shoulder.

Felicity walked round to the other side of the bed and hesitantly got in next to him. He shook his head and he reached over t her and gently pulled the bobble from her hair. She shook her head and ran her hands through the now wild hair to tame it and smiled lightly at him. “Thank you Oliver.” She said.

“For what?” He asked.

“for just being here, helping me” She told him.

“Always.” He promised.  
They both laid down and she lied as far away as possible, feeling awkward. Oliver lied normally, wanting to reach out and hold her to make sure she was okay and that she wouldn't go anywhere again. But he knew he couldn't move any closer because he'd already pushed his boundary’s and she was already uncomfortable.

They drifted off to sleep and that's where the nightmares started.

Felicity was in a cell and then the guard she killed came over to her and started to beat her up. She couldn't move. Couldn't speak. But then she screamed. The guard stopped and stumbled away and that's when she saw the red spot of blood on his chest which only grew. Then she looked down at her hands and saw a gun in them. “No no no, not again.” She begged and then screamed some more. She wanted out of this place. She needed to escape.

Felicity was sat up and thrashing around and Oliver's hands were holding her wrists, trying to stop her moving and hurting herself further. “Hey. It's me. It's Oliver. You're safe.” He kept repeating her her and eventually he got through. She stopped fighting and turned to him slowly. Yes she was now safe, but that guy wasn't. He was dead because of her and she didn't even know his name. Felicity just nodded and placed her head in her hands. 

Oliver pulled her in to him. She had tears in her eyes but again, they would not fall, she inhaled shaky breaths, breathing in his calming scent trying to calm down before Roy and Thea rushed in.

 

“Felicity are you okay?” Roy asks when he burst in, making her jump slightly.

“Are you alright? Is she alright?” Asked Thea looking from Oliver to Felicity.

Felicity pulled away from Oliver's arms and ran a hand through her hair. “I-I'm fine, It was just a nightmare, I'm sorry I woke you.” Felicity said and they slowly walked over to her, not wanting to startle her.

Roy embraced her in a warm hug and she hugged back with her right arm. Her left arm however was throbbing from thrashing about with it. When they pulled away Thea did the same thing. “It's okay” Thea whispered in her ear. “You never need to apologise for that.” She continued pulling away.

“Yeah, we don't know what you went through but we want to help you, we all do.” Roy said.

“Thank you both” Felicity said. “But I don't need help right now, I'm fine” She said with a weak smile and they got the message and headed out after saying their goodbye's. 

Oliver knew from experience not to ask her about her dream, so instead, he just laid her back down holding her close to hi. She was slightly uncomfortable at first but soon she melted in to his embrace. Felicity eventually fell back to sleep and Oliver followed soon after her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity deals with anxiety and Oliver tries to protect her in every way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh okay so I know I haven't updated in a while but this took so long to do. I thought it was going to be short but it turned out to be massive and doesn't even cover a long period of time. Hope you enjoy. Sorry for spelling mistakes, after how long it took to write I couldn't be bothered to check spellings.

Felicity woke with a start, screaming and thrashing once again. Oliver was already awake and had been watching her move in her sleep so he just repeated what he did last time to calm her down: he pulled her in to his chest and rocked her gently as she shook in his arms. 

Felicity took about ten minuets to calm enough to get out of bed on her shaky legs. She wanted Oliver to hold her and tell her everything was going t be okay, and she wanted to believe him. But he couldn't because he had no idea whether it would be okay or not, he had no idea what had happened to her and he had no idea the kind of disgusting monster she'd become. That's why she wouldn't let him hold her.

Oliver sighed when Felicity pulled away and got up. It was true he didn't know what had happened to her but he wished she would open up to her and let him comfort her, but he would never pressure her in to any of that because he knew he was just as closed off- probably even more so- when he came back from the island. 

“You can use the shower now, first, if you like?” He offered and she nodded quickly. She couldn't wait for a shower, it would be the first one in two years where she could take her time without anyone waiting on her, without the freezing cold water that ran through the taps, and without the feeling someone was watching her. “You seem exited.” Oliver observed, slightly amused by her excitement at something as simple as the shower, whilst getting out of bed and stretching.

Felicity looked at Oliver's shirtless chest for a split-second before rapidly averting her gaze before she gets caught staring and she blushes lightly. “Well, um, yeah I guess. First proper shower in two years. God that's a long time. I mean, we had showers there but they were no good, you always felt like you were being watched, you weren't though. Well, unless we were and we just didn't realise it. It's not like it would be that much of a stretch and I mean they had probably seen-” Her eyes went wide as she realised she was rambling. “...3...2...1” She said before taking a big breath. 

Oliver chuckled at her. Despite the context of the ramble he was glad to hear it, it meant that she was a little closer to remembering who she was. He most definitely didn't like that they, whoever 'they' were, could have been watching Felicity shower and could have seen her naked, and he wanted to ask her more about it but bit his tongue. When he got back from the island he didn't want to answer anyone's questions as it just made it harder for him, and he wanted to do anything in his power to make this as easy for her as possible.

“I'm going to go ask Thea if she has any clothes you could wear and any shower stuff for you to borrow. I'll be right back.” Oliver said, smiling at her softly, but didn't move to leave the room seeming unsettled to leave Felicity by herself.

Felicity noticed this and said “Oliver, I'm fine, go.” and after another few seconds of hesitation he left for Thea's room.

He knocked on Thea's door and when she answered Oliver was greeted by the sighed of a fully dressed and ready Thea and Roy. “Speedy,” He greeted with a small, tight smile. “Felicity wanted to shower so I need girl's showering things and some clothes she could wear.” He told the little brown haired girl and she nodded before disappearing for a minuet in to her room before promptly returning with vanilla scented shampoo and conditioner with coconut scented body wash. 

“Use these,” Thea spoke. “They're amazing she should love them...” She trailed off and looked down, concern filling her eyes. “Is she okay after last night?” She asked, looking back up to Oliver.

Oliver nodded in reply, although he knew he was lying and didn't even believe himself when he said “Just a bit shaken up.”.

Thea nodded and Oliver started to walk away before she called him back. “Ooh, Ollie, wait a sec!” She exclaimed disappearing in to her room once more, this time coming back with a brand new razor that Thea had gotten as a backup for her backup in case her first razor broke and her first backup broke too. “To shave her legs.” She told him and Oliver smiled slightly, remembering what Felicity had said about shaving her legs last night.

“Thank you Speedy, what about the clothes?” He asked her.

“I will greet her in her room when she is done and give her a selection of outfits to choose from.” Thea said getting slightly excited about being able to dress up Felicity and that made Oliver slightly nervous.

“Okay, thank you Thea, but just remember where she's been the past two years. She doesn't want lots of make-up and tight clothes, she needs to be comfortable okay?” Oliver told Thea and she rolled her eyes.

“I know Ollie, I'm not stupid.” She told him and pushed him out of the doorway as her and Roy stepped in to the corridor and started walking towards the stairs. “I am, however, very hungry.” She Thea said before descending the staircase, dragging Roy along with her.

Oliver shook his head at his sister before walking back to his room to see Felicity was staring out in to the distance from a big window. He hadn't opened the curtains before he'd left, and honestly he had been afraid to. He'd thought that maybe if the world had seen this is where she was, the person who'd taken her would come and get her again, but this time he was determined to never let that happen again. 

Before he'd never really considered that she could get hurt by a random villain because she was behind a desk the whole time. She wasn't out in the field often and when she was it was impossible for anyone to notice that she was there on behalf of the arrow. He'd never really prepared for one of his enemies to figure out who Felicity was and go after her before he'd even shown themselves to the arrow yet. He always expected them to first try and take him down and then go after the people he loves. Now he was prepared and would never let anything happen to her. Never again.

“Hey” Oliver said softly not wanting to frighten her; Felicity turned to face him and gave him a weak, forced smile.

“Hi,” She replied.

Oliver held out the shower items towards her. “Here, you have your shower now and Thea will be waiting for you with some clothes when you come out.” He told her and paused for a second, making sure she was looking in to his eyes, before continuing. “And remember, stay in there as long as you need. You haven't had a proper shower in two years and we have enough money to cover the water bill even if you stayed in there all day.” He said to make sure she knew to relax and that she was no burden to him or anyone else.

Felicity nodded before replying. “Thank you.” She said in a small voice, taking the items from his arms and walked in to the bathroom which was twice the size of how she remembered her bedroom being at her house, and ten times bigger than the cell she had been living in for the past two years.  
Felicity locked the door behind her and took off her clothes. She looked in to the mirror at her naked body and saw it was covered in scars and bruises, especially her shoulder which, even through the gauze (which would need changing after her shower), she could see the large black bruise covering it. It was extremely painful all the time and this morning it was feeling particularly stiff, but she'd lived through worse. 

She gasped at the sight of her battered body. Her breathing started coming in faster and more shallow and she thought she was about to have another panic attack until Oliver called out to her.

“Felicity, do you want me to wait to take you to breakfast?” He offered and her stomach let out a small growl at the thought of food as she hadn't eaten in a while. 

“No, I'm okay, you go and I'll eat later” She replied after regaining her composure. 

Oliver shouted back an “Okay” and left. Felicity stepped in to the shower, being careful not to accidentally catch herself in the reflection again, and turned the water on. The temperature of the water was hot enough to burn her skin but cool enough to not burn. The water momentarily numbed the haunting memories of the last two years as she found it hard to think through the welcome pain.

She started washing herself, carefully, with her one good arm. She didn't care about getting the gauze wet (even though she wasn't supposed to) because she'd change it as soon as she got out anyway. Felicity then washed her hair with one arm, which proved to be quite difficult, and then finally she shaved her armpits and legs. When she was being held caaptive you never saw anyone's legs because they wore leggings – or in the boy's case jogging bottoms – to cover them. Cooper and his evil army of torturers didn't feel the need to get the girls to shave their legs as it was a waste of time and money. But your armpits, however, were seen all the time and so the girls were made to have them waxed once every two weeks. It was weird but even though no one looked good, Cooper and his evil army tried to make you look at least presentable, probably because he didn't want his army looking like a bunch of homeless people. 

Another weird thing Cooper did was insist that she kept her hair blonde. She couldn't remember why, she could only remember him saying something about how he wanted to be ruining her new and improved Felicity Smoak who had her life together, or maybe it was because he'd already deemed the old Felicity Smoak as damaged. Ugh. She couldn't remember, she was close to passing out from a particularly bad beating at the time. Anyway, every month Cooper would get someone to re-dye her hair the bottle blonde colour she was used to.

Once Felicity was done in the shower she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower in to the steam filled room. She dried herself off with a towel from the cupboard and wrapped it around her making sure all of her scars and bruises were well hidden apart from her shoulder. She wasn't ready for anyone to know what she had been through, or to see any more pity in their eyes.

Felicity walked out of the bathroom and saw Thea sitting on the bottom of the bed waiting for her, surrounded by a few outfit choices she had brought in with her.

Thea smiled a warm smile at Felicity as she walked in before she started speaking. “So, I have brought some outfits, but first lets start with the most obvious items of clothing you will need.” Thea began and picked something off of the bed. “Here are some panties and a bra to put on, and some socks.”. Thea handed her some plain black panties, a matching bra, and some grey and purple socks. “I had to kind of guess the size.” Thea apologised.

“Yeah, thanks.” Felicity said accepting the clothes and holding them tightly, like a clutch, in her hand. 

“Okay, now, how about this?” Thea asked pointing to some shorts with a tank top which were already laid out on the bed. Felicity shook her head. That would expose way too many bruises. “Okay, this one?” The young brunette asked again, this time pointing to a crop top and jeans. Felicity shook her head again. It would show the scars on her back and stomach. Thea sighed and pointed to the last option. “Fine, this one?”. This outfit was a grey off the shoulder jumper with a black tank top underneath and black leggings. 

“Yeah, I'll go with the last one, thank you.” Felicity said and Thea nodded, passing the outfit to the bottle blonde tech genius. 

The smiled knowingly. “I knew you'd choose that one.”.

Felicity gave the younger girl a small, forced smile. “Thank you.” She repeated.

“Any time, you go and get changed and I'll be waiting out here to do your hair and make-up.”

Felicity nodded before walking back in to the bathroom to get changed.

It took while but eventually she managed to get all of her clothes on without causing any more aggravation to her arm. She also put her sling on to take some of the pressure off of her shoulder before grabbing Thea's shower stuff and the clothes she'd previously been wearing and exiting the bathroom once again. She handed the shower stuff back to Thea, put Oliver's shirt which she'd slept in the night before on the end of Oliver's bed, and put her dirty clothes in a pile next to it, making a mental note to do something with them later once she knew where to put them. 

“Okay, first, we blow dry it.” Thea said talking about Felicity's hair. She sat Felicity down in a chair in front of a mirror and sprayed heat protection over her hair before starting to blow dry it. The blow dryer made Felicity flinch when it first came on and Thea's hands in her hair made her tense up but she eventually relaxed slightly.

Once her hair was dry Thea decided to leave it down and then started at her make-up. First Thea decided she'd better be considerate of Felicity's feelings and ask if she even wanted make-up on first. Felicity didn't really want make-up on, but she said yes anyway, she wasn't sure who she'd have to see today and also Thea looked so exited to be able to do her make-up so she thought why not.

Thea had lots of different make-up in her room which she'd temporarily brought to Oliver's room so they managed to find her shade in everything. They decided on fairly light make-up. Foundation, concealer, powder, slight bit of bronzer, mascara, a light eye shadow and lipstick. It wasn't too much but it hid how run down, tired, haunted, and dead she looked.

“Thank you.” Felicity said for what had to have been the twentieth time today once Thea was done.

“No problem, I love doing people's make-up. I always wanted a sister so I could do her make-up. Ollie wasn't really up for being my model.” Thea said making Felicity slightly chuckle. “Common, you must be starving. Let's get you something to eat.” Thea said before dragging the blonde by her good arm all the way downstairs and in to the dining room.

Everyone else was done eating by now and in the living room. “I ate already but I'll keep you company in here.” Thea said before sitting down and Felicity followed suit, sitting opposite her.

The maid came in and offered Felicity a kind smile before placing a plate of toast, beans, and bacon in front of her with a glass of orange juice and walking away. “Eat up.” Thea told her and Felicity's stomach growled as the smell of bacon made her mouth water.

Once Felicity was done Thea gave her a toothbrush that hadn't yet been used and they had kept for guests in case they forgot to bring one and Felicity brushed her teeth. 

After she was done Felicity stepped in to the living room and saw everyone was in there.”Hi.” She said quietly and slightly embarrassed and uncomfortable after all of her nightmares last night.

Oliver was sat with a t-shirt on with his pyjama bottoms next to Roy on the couch who was sat in some jeans and a top, both watching TV before she walked in.

Oliver looked up at her. “Was your shower as amazing as you thought it would be?”He asked with a soft smile.

“I guess.” She said and shrugged and winced in pain as she did. “Why do I keep doing that?” She asked herself out loud and a concern look crept it's way across Oliver's features.

“Let's get you some pain meds the doctor prescribed.” He said getting up, taking her good arm gently in his hand, and leading her to the kitchen where her bad of medication sat on the side.

He got out two pain pills and made her a glass of water passing them to her. She took them and smiled slightly at him. “Thanks.” She said and he nodded.

“I'm going to go take a shower if that's okay?” He asked her, making sure it was okay with Felicity before he left her down here.

She tilted her head to the side. “Why do you keep asking if you can do things? The Oliver Queen I know didn't ever ask permission before he did anything. It was always act first, beg for forgiveness later.” Felicity said and raised an eyebrow.

“It's… It's because I don't want to leave you alone if you're not ready to be left, I don't want to do anything that surprises you in case it triggers a panic attack or something, I don't want to do something vigilante-like in case it is like what your captures did to you and in case it makes you scared. I just don't want to scare you ever, and I always want to make sure you're okay before anything else. It's because I care about you and your health and if you're okay or not that I keep asking permission.” Oliver said, deciding to be 100% truthful so that she knew he could trust him but also so she knew it was okay to be open and so that she knew she was deeply cared for.

“Oliver,” She started, hesitantly bringing her good arm up to cup his face. He leaned in to the warmth her hand offered making her smile softly at him just as he had done to her earlier. “You don't need to step on egg shells around me, in fact, I'd prefer it if you didn't. I know what you do, I don't and will never judge you for that, I've helped you with that and I still will if you still need me.” She told him.

Oliver breathed in and he could smell her, not just the vanilla hair products or coconut body wash, but he could just smell her and it was amazing. With her there and safe in front of him he felt more at ease than he had in the past two years.

“Of course we still need you, do you have any idea how hard it is to find these bad guys without you?” He asked her smiling at her and she smiled back slightly. 

“Good, because otherwise I'd have to find a new hobby.” She joked and backed away from him. “Go and have your shower, I'll be down here.” She told him and as he started walking away she remembered something he'd said. “Oh and Oliver?” She called after him.

“Yeah?” He asked stopping and turning around so he could see her.

“I could never, ever, be scared of you.” She told him before walking back in to the living room with no other words, leaving him standing there smiling after her like an idiot for a full minuet before he managed to snap himself out of it and go upstairs for his shower.

When she entered the living room Roy greeted her with a “Hey” and she went and sat down on the couch next to Thea who was seated next to Roy.

“Hi,” She replied and Thea smiled at her.

“So, how you holding up? After last night and everything...” Roy asked and trailed off as she tensed up slightly.

Felicity sucked in a deep breath before replying. “Fine. I'm fine.” She told them, not sure if she was trying to convince them or herself. “It was just a dream. Sorry if I kept waking you up.” She apologised.

They shook their heads, brushing off her apology. They didn't believe that she was 'fine' but they didn't say anything about it as they didn't want to push her or upset her. They knew she wouldn't open up to anyone yet, especially them. If she were to open up to anyone they knew it would either be Oliver or Diggle. 

All three of them sat in awkward silence before there was a knock at the door making Felicity jump. She put her head in her hands, sighing, annoyed at how easily scared she had become. 

Thea got up with Roy to greet their guest leaving Felicity alone for a minuet, and a few minuets later in came John Diggle. Felicity got up off of the couch to greet him.

“Hey Felicity, how you holding up?” Digg asked looking more concerned than he had yesterday. Felicity was really getting tired of the same questions being asked over and over again.

Felicity looked at the young couple standing just a few feet away from them. “You told him didn't you?” She asked, referring to her nightmares and her screams throughout the night. Thea and Roy both looked down and nodded which in turn made Felicity sigh and roll her eyes. It wasn't that she wasn't grateful for their concern but she didn't want them telling everybody about her nightmares and everything else making them more worried than they already were for her. She was a burden and she didn't want that burden to grow any more.

“I'm fine.” Felicity repeated her earlier statement. “Honest” she lied looking back at Diggle.

Digg shook his head at her, knowing she was lying, but like Thea and Roy he didn't push it. He could tell by the look in her eyes and how tense she was that if he questioned her she might just break. She needed to be ready to open up to them, the couldn't push her.

“So, is Oliver letting you out of the house today?” He asked her, changing the subject.

Felicity looked slightly annoyed. “He's not in charge of me.” She defended herself, though she knew he was partially joking about how over-protective Oliver was of her.

It's because she knew Digg was joking that she was okay with him saying things like that, things that made it seem like she was being controlled. He wasn't joking about her, t was aimed at Oliver, so she was fine with it. It even made a tiny smile appear on her face. She was okay until Roy piped up.

“Yeah but it's not like he's going to let you out. He's going to want to keep you trapped up in here with him as your protection 24/7.” Roy said and Felicity literally stopped breathing.

Words like 'trapped' and 'not letting you out' were floating around her brain. The sane part of her knew that Oliver would never do that. He would never hurt her, lock her up, trap her. Knew that he wasn't Cooper. But the unhinged part of her brain that had endured all of that torture was no longer thinking of liver, it was thinking of Cooper and all of the time he had her trapped and locked up, torturing her. Telling her she was his and his only. 

“Felicity?” Roy asked as he saw Felicity start to panic. Thea hit him up the back of the head at his stupidity. “Felicity, I'm sorry, it was a poor choice of words. I-Felicity!” He spoke softly at first but in the end shouted her name trying to get her attention and bring her back to the present, but she was too far gone.

She started to breath again but she wasn't breathing normally. Her breaths were coming in hard, fast, and ragged. She was having another panic attack. Digg saw this and tried to help. “It's okay Felicity just breath, okay?” He asked but when he got no response he stepped closer to her picking her up bridal style and placing her down back on to the couch. Digg crouched down in front of her and placed one of her hands on his chest so she could feel his breathing. “Breath Felicity, in time with me ready?” He said forcing his breathing to remain calm even though his head was thumping and his heart was pounding at seeing his friend like this. It didn't work. Felicity's breathing was still erratic; coming in fast and hard breaths.

Upstairs Oliver had just gotten out of the shower and was half dressed in some jeans and was in the process of doing up his belt – as he had decided he would not be going in to work today and had called in earlier – when he heard a fuss going on downstairs. He listen carefully for any sign of danger. Then he heard her name being yelled by many different voices. Felicity. 

Oliver didn't have to guess what was happening. He already knew. 

He swiped his grey t-shirt, which he'd had ready to put on, off of the chest of drawers and ran down the stairs and in to the living room, grabbing the Xanax and a glass of water on his way.

Oliver set the glass on the wooden coffee table and rapidly pushed everyone out of the way so he could get to Felicity. He got out a Xanax pill but she was too worked up to take it. 

 

Felicity was still breathing hard and fast, shaking in fear, with her hands in her hair pulling it, trying and failing to bring herself back to the present.

Oliver sat next to her and held her body to his chest, even as she struggled against his arms he held her there, knowing it would calm her and that she would eventually sink in to him and his warmth. “Hey it's okay, it's me, it's Oliver. Everything's okay. We're not going to hurt you. You're alright. It's okay.” He whispered in her ear until she was slightly calmer. Within a minuet Felicity was calm enough to take the Xanax and Oliver passed her the water to help her swallow it.

Once Felicity had taken the long, white, powdery pill Oliver held her to his chest once agani, stroking her hair to calm her further.

When Felicity's breathing finally returned to normal she turned her head further in to Oliver's shoulder, too embarrassed to face everyone after her panic attack. Oliver knew what she was feeling and gave everyone a look and they knew it was tme to get out.

Hearing footsteps growing further and further away, Felicity slowly lifted her head from Oliver's shoulder and he pulled away slightly to give her space, although his hands still remained on her head and the other on her good shoulder. Felicity started to look up at him but got distracted as she saw he had no shirt on and still had a few drops of water on him from the shower; she didn't look away until Oliver cleared his throat telling her he'd caught her. She looked away embarrassed, her cheeks heating up, as Oliver chuckled at her slightly. 

“You're making me wet.” Felicity spoke for the first time and instantly regretted it as her eyes went wide and she realised what she'd just said. “I mean because you've just gotten out of the shower and you're still not dry properly and then you were hugging me and that made the water from the shower get on me! Not anything else.” She rushed to correct herself and Oliver's eyebrows raised in amusement and a smile appeared on his face. He was glad that she was rambling and saying accidental sexual innuendos because with each one he knew she was feeling more and more like herself.

Felicity blushed harder, if that was even possible, and Oliver put a hand on her face gently making her look up at him. “Sorry.” She apologised for both the ramble and the innuendo. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said seriously before getting up and loosing any and all physical contact with her, making them both feel slightly cold. “Can they come back in nw?” Oliver asked after putting his shirt on. At Felicity's hesitation he continued. “They won't judge you, you know that. I'm sure Digg has had his fair share of panic attacks after he got back from special forces, and Roy was unstable whilst he was on mirricuru and afterwards he even confided in you about his nightmares. Thea may not understand as she hasn't been through any terrible panic attacks unless you count when she freaks out about what to wear, but she would never judge you because she loves you. We all do.” Oliver spoke and she nodded, but was still nervous.

“Okay.” Felicity replied in a small voice.

Oliver called them back I and Roy immediately ran over to her. “Felicity, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to say all that. I meant it as a joke, bad choice of words I am so so sorry I-” Felicity cut him off.

“It's fine Roy, it's not your fault.” Felicity told him with a small smile. It was true it wasn't his fault. His words may have triggered her but they weren't what had made her like this in the first place. When Felicity could see he still didn't believe her she spoke again. “Really, I don't blame you” She said and he looked relieved.

Oliver planned to ask Roy about what he did to set her off later, but for now he would let it go. 

“So, what do you want to do today?” Asked Oliver, placing his hand on her good shoulder once again.

Felicity thought about this for a moment. She didn't want to have to see a lot of people and she definitely didn't want to have to talk about what happened, but she didn't want to be alone. As much as she told herself she was too damaged for him and that he didn't even know her any more, she still couldn't get past the fact that – at least for now – she needed Oliver because he made her feel safe and protected. Felicity also wanted to be somewhere familiar but wasn't sure Oliver would take her to the foundry yet, not because he didn't trust her, but because he didn't trust himself around her with his arrow suit and even though she'd told him she wasn't afraid of him at all, he didn't 100% believe her.

Finally she made up her mind. “Can I go to my house?” She asked him and he nodded but also looked confused. Felicity wasn't prepared to defend her choice because she wasn't really too sure why she wanted to go to her house, it wasn't like it was home to her any more. She hadn't even been there for two years. 

“You don't have to ask Felicity, it's completely up to you, you know that right?” Oliver told her, looking in to her eyes so she knew that she was completely in control of everything that was happening. It wasn't what Felicity had expected him to say and she relaxed at not having to answer that question, and because she knew she didn't have to fear Oliver 'trapping her' and not letting her do anything on her own accord. She was completely in control.

“So, when do you want to go?” He asked Felicity.

“Um, I don't mind.” Felicity said but Oliver gave her a look that told her he knew she was lying. “Soon?” She asked giving in.

Oliver raised one eyebrow at her and his lips slightly curled up in amusement but the look in his eyes was dead serious. “You're still asking Felicity.” He told her and she let a hint of a smile cross her beautiful features as she nodded and looked to her feet acknowledging her mistake. “We can leave in about ten minuets.” Oliver told Felicity and then turned to Digg in question who nodded once to tell Oliver that it was fine with him.

“Does anyone else think it's weird that you've been shot in the same shoulder twice not?” Digg asks and Felicity's hint of a smile turned in to a soft, fond, yet slightly embarrassed smile at the memory as Oliver chuckled, thinking of when she was doped up on the 'aspirin' Digg gave her.

Felicity blushed and shoot her head. “Never speak of it.” She told them jokingly. 

Last time she had been shot in the shoulder there wasn't much damage. The bullet had left a scar and it had hit her and gone through both sides of her shoulder, but it wasn't as bad of a hit as this bullet was. This one had gone in to her shoulder and hit the bone leaving a crack in her shoulder blade making the pain sharp, throbbing, and extreme. Yeah, this time round was much worse.

Both Oliver and Digg again chuckled at her pretend threat and Thea and Roy decided not to ask about this indecent as it was clear it was an inside joke they'd shared before the rest of the team came together. Plus it was bound to be a long story.

Once they'd finished chuckling over Felicity in her drugged out state Oliver spoke up again. “Okay so I'm going to go put some shoes on and grab a jacket and then we can leave, yeah?” He asked Felicity and waited for her nod before disappearing off up the stairs again only to come down two minuets later holding Felicity's worn out black pumps, his own pair of black lace up trainers, a grey/faded green coloured jacket for himself, and a grey zip up hoodie. 

They both put their shoes on and when Oliver passed Felicity a grey hoodie – that was only just big enough for him but would swamp Felicity – she looked at him in confusion.

“To keep you warm.” He told her with a small smile and draped it over her shoulders, knowing that she couldn't put it over her other arm in the sling. Felicity was suddenly surrounded by Oliver's scent. It made her dizzy and her knees week; she swallowed hard to keep herself in check and gave Oliver a slightly shaky smile.

Oliver put his own jacket on before saying goodbye to Thea and Roy, placing a hand gently on Felicity's lower back, and walking out of the mansion with Digg slightly in front of them in case any paparazzi – or anyone else for that matter – were going to swarm them.

There were quiet a lot of paparazzi surrounding the mansion but Digg had pulled the car up so it was inside of the gates and no one could reach them. Digg opened the back doors for Felicity and Oliver who shuffled across to their seats, before settling himself in to the drivers seat in the front. 

Felicity wanted to be at home, she thought once she got there everything might go back to normal. But these people with cameras watching her and taking pictures of her, she couldn't feel normal with that. In fact, it made her anxiety worsen a great deal.

Oliver sensed Felicity's anxiousness and gabbed her free hand, squeezing reassuringly. 

The drive wasn't too long and despite the silence between the three friends, it wasn't awkward in the slightest.

When they arrived at the house Digg told them he'd wait in the car to leave the two alone for a bit. Felicity walked up to the front floor, feeling weird not having her keys on her. Oliver pulled out her keys from his pocket and she looked at him confused. It wasn't just that he had her key, that made sense, but it was on her very same key chain and everything. 

Oliver noticed this and explained. “Oh, Lance found your keys and phone at the scene and he gave them to me because he didn't know of any other friends you had in the city.” Felicity nodded.

“Makes sense.” She said and he looked over at her. “I don't really have any other friends anyway, other than the team.” Felicity told him and he offered her a small smile before unlocking the door and letting her walk before him.

Before she stepped in to the house she took a deep breath, as if mentally preparing herself to enter. Slowly she took steps in to the house with Oliver following behind her.

Felicity looked around. Her house looked almost exactly the same as she'd remembered it, apart from the couch had a pillow and blanket laid out on it that weren't there before. Felicity's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, it may have been two years ago but she definitely knew that she did not have anyone staying on her couch including her the night before she got taken.

Oliver's eyes went wide when he saw the couch but not for the same reasons. Usually he was so careful and tidy when he did anything, especially when he stayed at people's houses, but he had failed to clean up the couch from the last time he'd been here and his secret was out. “Oh-ah-right, sometimes with my sister sharing a room with Roy it can get a little uncomfortable, and sometimes Thea throws parties I don't want to go to, or sometimes thee house is too lonely to stay in so I came here and slept on your couch a few nights whilst you were gone.” Oliver rushed to explain, looking anywhere but at her, embarrassed.

“You slept on my couch? Not in my comfortable bed?” Felicity asked him, confused.

Oliver shrugged. “I always knew you'd come back and I didn't want to sleep in it in case you didn't want me to. Plus it felt too...” Oliver trailed off and cleared his throat. “It felt like I had invaded your privacy enough already by being here without permission.” He said and straightened up again.

“Okay...” Felicity drew out slowly and walked in to her bedroom. She knew what he was going to say before he stopped himself. 'intimate'. 'it felt too intimate' was what he was going to say and she knew it, but she took it the wrong way. 

Oliver didn't want it to feel to intimate because if he was ever lucky enough to have a proper intimate moment with her then he would have wanted her to actually have been there for it. 

Felicity thought he didn't want it to feel intimate because he only saw her as a friend and nothing else and it would feel weird to be 'intimate' with a friend that way. She knew – or thought – this already but it still hurt. Felicity shook her head at herself. She shouldn't be focussing on her relationship (or lack there of) with Oliver right now, she should be focussing on feeling normal again.

Walking in to her room Felicity saw the bed wasn't made, she remembered waking up that morning and not making her bed because she couldn't be bothered and she had thought 'what's the point of making my bed if I'm just going to get back in it tonight anyway?'. Felicity inwardly laughed at herself for thinking that. How foolish she had been.

Just from the look of her room she could tell no one, not even Oliver, had stepped foot in her room since she'd left it that morning. For that she was glad, she didn't need to feel her privacy was any more violated than it had already been.

Oliver walked around Felicity's entire house, following her as she checked each room to familiarise herself with it once again, and to check that there wasn't anyone hiding out waiting for her.

Once they were finished checking each room they made their way back to the living room where Felicity walked up to a shelf she had above her fire place and beside the TV where there were a few pictures with a thin blanket of dust covering them.

Felicity blew lightly on the pictures making the dust float away in to the air to reveal what the pictures were of. 

The first picture she looked at was of her mother, Donna, and her father, Noah, standing in front of a tree in the back garden of the place she'd once called home. Noah's arms were wrapped protectively around Donna's waist. They looked so in love. It was taken by Felicity's aunt before she was born. 'Probably why they looked so happy.' Felicity thought bitterly. It was the only picture she had of the both of them together; she didn't know why she kept it up like that or why she even had it at all, it only brought bad memories for her, but she'd kept it anyway.

Noah had left Felicity when she was just seven years old and she didn't know why. Felicity had the means to find him and nearly did on several occasions, but talked herself out of it telling herself he didn't want to be in her life so he wasn't good enough for her to waste her time or efforts on. At least that's what she tried to tell herself, it usually got spun around the other way in her head, but either way it worked. After her dad left her Felicity had developed trust issues. She found it hard to let people in, and she wouldn't let people leave the room unless they told her exactly how long they'd be and where they'd be going so she knew they weren't going to leave her.

Donna wasn't much help. She was either drinking or working and never made any time for Felicity. Felicity understood that her mother needed to work so have enough money and that the alcohol dulled her pain a little, but she could never forget the amount of neglect she felt because of her.

Felicity looked at the next photo along. This one was of Felicity and Donna on her 7th birthday, just before her dad left. Felicity was sitting on her mum's shoulders with a birthday part hat on, Donna was dressed in some black leggings, a grey short-sleeved baggy top, and some light grey converse. In Felicity's opinion she looked beautiful. Her face was bare of make-up and her hair was up in a messy bun, but Donna was smiling a great big smile. Donna's smile used to be the most amazing thing until she decided to start wearing too much make-up, dressing like a porn start, and getting plastic surgery to try and make her self look 30 again.

Little 7 year old Felicity had a little pink flowing dress on, some tiny plastic sleeping beauty heels on her feet, and her long chocolate brown hair was in cute little braids with pink bows at the bottom. She was smiling her familiar bright smile and the way her head was slightly thrown back, her smiling mouth was open, and the corners of her eyes crinkled gave away the fact that she was laughing.

This still brought bad memories about what her mum did to her, but it also contained a few happier memories and she could never bring herself to take it down.

Felicity smiled slightly at the picture before moving on to the final one. This picture broke her heart. Not only was it a picture of Noah and Felicity together, hugging, and not only did the look in Noah's eyes as he looked at Felicity suggest that he was so head over heels for his 'little tech princess', but it was taken the day before he left her. That's what she couldn't understand. Felicity didn't know what she could have done to make him leave in such a short amount of time. But the worst thing was when she started doubting if he'd been faking all along. That he never loved her or Donna and he was just using them for God knows what. Either way she knew she wasn't wanted. She never really knew why she kept it up, maybe as a reminder that she wasn't good enough? Or maybe to fuel her anger against her father and to stop herself from looking for him?

Felicity froze, staring at the picture for a good two minuets.

Oliver, who had been following her the entire time, making sure she was okay, smiled at the pictures of Felicity as a young girl, but noticed how there were no pictures of Felicity with her any older than about six or seven. When Felicity stopped at one picture, frozen, Oliver gently placed a comforting hand on her good shoulder and she jumped around to face him startled at his touch.

“Hey, it's just me, you okay?” Oliver asked her softly and she nodded before swallowing hard.

“Yeah, I just-um-” Felicity starts but cuts herself off and shakes her head. “Nothing.” She told him before sighing.

Oliver knew she was lying, she was doing that a lot lately, and he so badly wanted to push her to answer, but he was afraid of driving her away, her resenting him, or pushing Felicity too hard so that she breaks and looses any brightness she has left.

Felicity walked away from him and went back in to her bedroom. She wondered over to her window and sighed, partially in frustration, and partly in resignition.

“What's wrong?” Oliver asked her softly, putting a hand on her back which this time she didn't shy away from. His touch stung the lashes Cooper had left on her, but when he placed his hand over a scar or open wound, it made her feel not so damaged any more. Felicity hadn't realised Oliver had followed her to her room, but she didn't mind. She knew he was just concerned for her.

Felicity shook her head. “Nothing, it's nothing really,” She paused for a second before continuing. “I guess I just thought that maybe, if I came home, I could feel normal again. Or at least semi-normal. But no such luck.” Felicity told him, sighing again, still staring outside her window.

Felicity saw one little girl and her mother walk by smiling and chatting away to each-other, and although she didn't know them, Felicity hoped they'd never have to suffer as much as she had, she hoped they'd always remain this happy. But she knew it was a lost cause. Reality would always find a way to catch up with you and bite you in the ass. 

Oliver looked at Felicity and even though she couldn't see him, he nodded in understanding. “I get it,” He began. “When I first got back from the Island I tried to make everything the same but I couldn't. The people I'd left behind weren't the same, but most importantly: I wasn't the same. Being on that island, going through what I had been though, it changed me and I can't ever go back to who was before it happened. I used to shy away from the person I had become, but after I embraced it – and you helped me embrace it -” Oliver paused gently moving Felicity so she was looking at him. “I don't ever want to. When I look at what being this new me has given me, I wouldn't change it for the world.” Oliver hoped Felicity knew he was talking about her, but he wasn't sure.

Felicity was about to speak but Oliver quickly interrupted, he wasn't done yer. She needed to hear this. “Felicity, if what you went through changed you – and I know it did – embrace those changed because I know it could never make you a bad, horrible, or dangerous person. I know I will still care for you the same amount anyway, no matter what you've been through or what you've done and no matter how hard things get or how much you change, you'll always be strong, kind, and amazing on the inside.” He took a breath and smiled at her with a small twinkle in his eyes before saying “You'll always be my girl Felicity.” With all seriousness. 

Felicity slowly walked towards him. She didn't really believe the words he had said, she had killed someone, she was a monster, he would never look at her the same again if he ever found out that, but she was grateful for what he had said.

She wrapped her good arm around Oliver in a hug, and Oliver returned the gesture with both of his arms, being careful not to knock the injured one.

Felicity wanted to be able to wrap both of her arms around him but the stupid sling got in the way. “This sling is annoying.” She mumbled against Oliver's chest and he huffed out a single laugh.

“Keep it on, the only reason they let you out of the hospital already is because me, Thea, Diggle, Roy, Laurel, and even Lance all demanded that you come home because we know you didn't need to be confined to a hospital room after something like… that.” Oliver told her.

“Fine” Felicity gave in, pulling away and looked in to Oliver's striking blue eyes that any girl could just fall in to. “On one condition: Whilst I'm recovering I can still go to the foundry to help out with missions by hacking and stuff if I promise not to do anything stupid.” She told him and after seeing him hesitate she threw in a “Please.” To break him.

Oliver nodded. He should tell her no. He should tell her she needs her rest but he knows she needs this more. Felicity needs to be somewhere familiar and where she feels safe, and he guesses the foundry is more like home to her than her own house because of how much time they all spent there. “Fine, but not for at least a week.” He bargained.

Felicity gave him a soft smile and nodded, agreeing to the terms. “Thanks.” She said in a gentle voice. She so badly wanted to wrap her arm around him again and never leave his embrace. She wanted to tell him everything and not have him judge her or look at her differently, and she wanted to be able to just cry n to his chest. But she didn't. She resisted temptation and told herself she had to be strong. Instead Felicity just awkwardly looked away.

They were in a fairly awkward silence when Oliver's phone went off making Felicity jump again slightly. Oliver placed a hand on the top of her arm, once again, to soothe her. He looked at her and his concerned eyes met her beautiful, pale blue orbs again and he sighed before picking up his phone his eyes never leaving hers, and the hand on her arm unmoving.

“Roy.” Oliver greeted. “Wait what?” Was the next thing Felicity heard from him as he slightly tightened his hold on her good shoulder. “I'll be right there.” Was the next thing out of his mouth, shortly followed by an outraged “No she can't come!” Then a “She only just got out of the hospital yesterday and she if suffering from anxiety, she can't be around all of that yet.” Oliver spoke to Roy sternly and looking away from Felicity's eyes. Felicity knew they were definitely talking about her and she was desperately wanting to hear the other side of their conversation. “I know she's the only one who can do this sort of stuff but she can't yet!” Oliver shouts at his sister's fiancé in frustration. He sighs harshly before giving in to the younger man. “Fine, but if anything happens to her I'll blame you and it will be your funeral.” Oliver threatens angrily before hanging up and looking back at Felicity again.

Felicity raises her eyebrows expectantly at him, wanting to know what was going on.

“Want to get back behind the keyboard?” Oliver asked her, his tone was light but the troubled look on his face showed her he felt anything but happy about this. After all, he had just told her he didn't want her in the foundry for a week.

 

Oliver's resentment did nothing to bring down the slightly elated feeling in her stomach at the idea of being back in the foundry behind the comms again. “Hells yes.” Felicity breathed out making Oliver chuckle despite his current mood. 

The pair quickly got ready to lave the house and just before they were about to walk out the door Felicity stopped Oliver. He turned to her with a questioning glance, hoping that maybe she changed her mind about coming to the foundry. “You said Lance gave you my phone?” She asked him hopefully and Oliver nods.

Oliver walked in to the kitchen and came back with her phone and a nervous expression on his face. “I-uh-never mind. You'll understand when you check it.” Oliver told her making Felicity's eyebrows come together in confusion. 

Felicity takes her truly missed phone from Oliver's large hands, but she doesn't get a chance to check it as she is being hurried out the door by Oliver who once again had his hand on the small of her back. Leading her to Digg's car which was till waiting for them outside.

Oliver and Felicity both got in the back and Oliver proceeded to tell Digg what was going on as they drove. Apparently there is some computer virus that's been unleashed and it's extremely powerful. The minimum damage it could do is drain all of Staring City's banks which would have catastrophic repercussions. Felicity didn't even want to think what was the most this virus was capable of.

Felicity didn't really pay too much attention after that, instead she turned her phone on, curious as to what Oliver had said earlier. She saw she had about a hundred missed calls each from Digg, Laurel, Roy, Thea and even a few from Lyla. They were all within the two days after she went missing. Then she saw Oliver's calls. Along with the couple hundred calls Oliver had left during the few days after she went missing, she saw Oliver had called her on hundreds of other occasions, a long time after he knew she was gone, the most recent was last month. 

Felicity turned to him in confusion. “Why did you call me so much? You knew I was gone...” Felicity asked and then trailed off.

Oliver breathed in deeply before replying. “I just wanted to hear your voice.” He admitted, referring to her voice mail message, not looking at her. He seemed stiff. Oliver was feeling embarrassed, he hated sharing his feelings yes but that wasn't the only reason he was tense, it was because he didn't want her getting hurt again. Just the thought of him loosing her again was too much. He was afraid of loosing her because he knew he couldn't cope without her. These past two years were proof of that. Hell, he had her long rambling voice mail memorised by now.

“Hey it's Felicity. Smoak. Felicity Smoak. I can't answer the phone right now sorry, or maybe I just don't like you enough to talk on the phone with you. Well, actually I guess I must like you because I gave you my number but whatever. Oh right, this thing is still recording and I'm officially insane and talking to myself. Anyway, leave a message after the beep.” 

Felicity realised what he was feeling and she scooted closer to him on the leather sets until she was right next to him. She placed her head on his shoulder and buried her face in to him. Oliver placed his head gently on top of hers and breathed in her scent that he had longed for throughout these past two years, and he closed his eyes, relishing in it. He wrapped his strong arm around her small body and they stayed like that for the rest of the journey. Each of them feeling safe in the other's arms, and trying not to spill all of their thoughts and feelings in fear of making it awkward and heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. Please check out my other Olicity Stories if you like this one so far. :)


	6. Blame Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver confront their guilt over what happened and tensions are running high in the arrow cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been forever but I haven't been in the state of mind to write lately and it takes ages to write these chapters. I know it still doesn't cover a lot of time but it was still quite long. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> PS. I tried to add in italics and things like that so that you could understand how and in what context the characters were saying things in but they wouldn't work on here for some reason.

They arrived outside of the foundry and Diggle parked just outside the back entrance so Felicity could get in quicker. They all got out of the car but the two omen did not miss the way Felicity's whole body froze in place when she stepped out in to the street.

This is where it happened. This is where Cooper kidnapped her on that cold night two years ago. 

Fear bubbled up inside Felicity and soon it became all she was able to feel. She couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't even breath.

Oliver rushed over to Felicity in concern and took one of her cold, shaky hands in his own big, warm ones. He led her to the door, currently being held open by Diggle, and led her inside.

Once Felicity realised she was inside she released a breath she didn't know she was holding, and although she was relaxed, she clutched Oliver's arm tight. Not necessarily out of fear, more to reassure her that he was here, to ground her, to hold her down when her head tried to carry her away. Which is ironic, Felicity thought, Considering my body is the one meant to be carrying my head.

As she watched Digg open the door to the basement, Felicity's body tensed once again, but this time it was in anticipation; not fear. They all stepped on to the platform at the top of the stairs and only then did she relax. 

Felicity allowed herself a minuet, just a minuet, to look over everything and let all of the memories she'd made down here welcome her with warm hugs. She looked to her computers remembering the time when she'd threatened to personally make anyone who touched her computer's life a living hell, she looked to her chair and remembered the time Oliver had rested a hand on her shoulder and told her he was proud of her, she looked to the salmon ladder and remembered how much she used to like watching Oliver do that, and then finally she looked to the training mats and remembered all of the times she'd watched her boys and Sara or Laurel train there. It was amazing to her how little had changed down here. Everything in the same place. It was almost as if, down here, time had just stopped whilst she was away and it was just now un-pausing. But at the same time she felt like down here nothing could get to her, not even time.

Down in the foundry she felt safer, more at home, and more normal than she had since she'd been back. A small smile graced her features at that thought, she found some hilarity in the fact that catching criminals in a secret lair underneath a club with a green vigilante was normal for her.

Digg walked ahead and to the bottom of the steps, pausing to look up at Felicity with an anxious concern. He was unsure whether she was ready for this, he knew she was strong, everyone had always known that about Felicity, she had always been stronger than all of them, but this was a lot to take in and even if he was 99.99% sure she would be okay none of the team would risk that 0.01% that she wasn't. They would always look out for her. No matter what. Just like she would for them.

Oliver stood with Felicity, her grip on him had vanished and instead he had put a hand on her shoulder for reassurance, just in case.

Both of her boys began to qorry bringing Felicity down here was too much for her after she hadn't moved for a while. But then they saw that small smile fall perfectly on to her face and they both had to fight the urge to sigh with relief.

Oliver smiled back at Felicity a little. Even though he knew the smile wasn't aimed at him, Oliver had always found Felicity's beautiful smile contagious and he didn't know how he's mnaged to survive without it for the past two years.

Together, they walked down the stairs and Felicity hesitantly made her way over to her dust ridden computers. Not being able to resist the urge, Felicity reached out a hand and gently stroked her babies. What could she say? She'd missed them. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. “Have they been updated?” She asked, still not managing to tear her eyes away from her computers.

“Uh, no. I probably wouldn't know how to if I tried.” Oliver admitted and Felicity smiled and rolled her eyes at his extreme lack in knowledge on tech of any kind. 

It was the truth, but Oliver didn't dare tell Felicity the main reason her computers hadn't been updated in the two years she was gone: She didn't like them touching her 'babies. It sounded stupid. Oliver was very aware of that. But in all the years Felicity had been a part of team arrow she had made it very clear no one was to touch her computers, or her layout, but her. One time Felicity had caught Roy just sitting in her chair and she had completely lost her mind and yelled at him in her loud voice until everyone was sure she'd have a sore throat the next day. It was obvious to say that Roy never went near Felicity's desk again, and neither did anyone else. 

There was one time a few months ago when they'd all come back from a mission and they were very tired since finding and tracking criminals was a lot harder and took a lot more effort without Felicity's help. Laurel had handled a court case at work that day and had been absolutely exhausted and had collapsed on to Felicity's chair. That time Oliver was the one who lost his mind. Laurel had apologised profusely afterwards and didn't do it again, but it felt like they were just forgetting about Felicity. Of course they weren't. But Oliver thought, if they forgot about her rule, they'd forget about her. 

Felicity sat down in her chair at her desk and carefully leaned back on to it, being careful of her wounds. Both Digg and Oliver smiled at how seeing Felicity sat there like that felt like everything was slipping in to place. 

Felicity turned on her computers and started updating them. “They'll work better once they're updated.” She told Oliver and Digg as she turned to face them. “So,” Felicity spoke, trying to fill the silence that had suddenly fallen upon them, but before she could get any other words out Oliver was speaking.

“Someone has created or gotten a hold of. They haven't done anything too bad yet, not compared to others we've faced anyway, but we need to stop it.” Oliver informed Felicity of her task, getting straight in to business, everyone else following suit.

“Right, so you need me to pin-point the location on where the virus is being sent out from and destroy it?” Felicity asked and took a deep breath. “How hard can it be?” Felicity flashed a smile at the men standing before her. Of course, she didn't actually believe it would be quite that easy, but a girl can hope, right?

For a fraction of a second, Felicity had a sense of Deja Vu. Everything felt back to normal and she thought that maybe, just maybe, things would just work themselves out and everything would go back to the way it was before. But then she caught the glint in Oliver's eye. She'd thought Oliver had just become 'arrow' Oliver, where he turned off his current emotions and focussed on the task at hand. But no. The glint in his eye was full of pain, concern, and maybe a little relief and happiness. It wasn't much, but it told Felicity that it wouldn't be that easy. The team wouldn't stop treating her like she was made of glass, and Felicity wouldn't stop jumping and having panic attacks at every loud noise. The look wasn't much at all. Nothing unexpected. Just reality. 

Felicity span back around to face her computers as they beeped to let her know the update was done. She took a deep breath and let it out before she heard the foundry door open. Roy, Thea, and Laurel jog down the stairs to join Digg and Oliver in staring at the back of Felicity's head as she got to work. 

“You know,” Felicity began, still watching her computers incessantly as she sorted through everything she had to before she could get to work on aquiring the information they needed on this new target. “You could make yourselves useful because I don't think staring at the back of my head is going to be helping anyone.” She told them.

Everyone quickly dispersed from behind her, as if they'd been caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing, leaving Felicity to do what she did best.

Felicity was trying to type with one hand, and although she was still good and faster than most people were typing with both hands, it was still too slow for her.

It had been only half an hour of Felicity typing with one hand trying to get something, anything, on the virus or the hacker with no such luck when she just couldn't take it any more. She let out a frustrated groan, gaining her training team members attention, before tearing off her restrictive sling. 

Without looking up Felicity could tell Oliver was looking at her; probably had annoyance over his features; probably about to tell her off for removing the sling. But she didn't care. Felicity needed to find this hacker and she wasn't going to do it without using the both of her hands.

Still not looking up she said “Sorry, guess I'm breaking two of your rules in one day.” without an ounce of sincerity in there, but the ghost of what could be a smile dancing on her lips.

Oliver was annoyed at her for removing her sling, but didn't tell her to put it back on, he didn't even say a word. Instead he found the slightest smile coming to his lips finding humour in the fact that he thought he could tell Felicity Smoak what to do ever. 

Felicity found Oliver was probably right about the sling when just twenty minuets later her shoulder was throbbing in pain now that she was moving it. But it didn't matter. She could ignore the pain. It was worth it since having the both of her hand was allowing her to type so much quicker.

Time flew away from everyone. It had been at least a few hours when Felicity found something. But once she did she found herself even more frustrated than before because the thing she found? Was nothing. After hours on end of hacking and combing through different viruses all she found was that the virus automatically deleted itself after it had been used. 

Just as Felicity was about to give up, all the lights and computers went off. 

“Felicity?” Oliver called out, wondering if Felicity had accidentally hit something whilst hacking.

Taking offence she called back “Wasn't me!” and then mumbled “God, do you guys really have such little faith in my abilities?” under her breath, with a hint of sarcasm.

Reaching in to a desk drawer where she used to keep all of her torches and matched incase something like this happened, she drew out a torch each. Using her good hand, Felicity chucked everyone a torch, keeping one for herself.

Everyone on the tea was slightly shocked by the accuracy and strength of her throw but didn't really think anything of it, I mean, she was only throwing a torch for gods sake. It wasn't like she had just shot an arrow at a target and landed dead centre. 

Suddenly the computer screen lit up with a red eye symbol on a black background. Everyone gathered around the monitors, waiting for what was to come. “We are brother eye. With just a push of a button we can destroy this city, we are in control now and this is just the beginning. Oh, and don't be surprised if some money goes missing from your banks.” The message came through on a voice modulator, making it impossible to know who was behind this.

The lights switched back on and everyone, who was previously frozen watching the screen, started came back to the present moment. Everyone but Felicity. She couldn't help but let the bad thoughts in to assault her brain.

What if it's Cooper? With a team he could be capable. He's a good hacker. 

It was Oliver's hand on her back that made her jump back in to reality and get back to work. “I'm on it.” Felicity told him, putting her worries aside for a moment. After all, Cooper wasn't an amazing hacker and the virus seemed pretty complex, she might just be over-reacting about nothing. So, she figured she'd wait until she'd gotten a closer look at the virus to worry.

Felicity carefully sat back down in her chair, typing away at her computers once more. 

No one moved back to the training mats, everyone just stayed waiting for Felicity to find something like they knew she would, and Oliver placed his hand on Felicity's good shoulder in what was meant to be a comforting and encouraging gesture.

“They left no trace, in and out.” Felicity said shaking her head and releasing a sigh from her lips, slightly swollen and red from biting on them too hard. “I think I can pick up some bread crumbs though.” She reported continuing to type away.

“Bread crumbs we can follow?” Oliver asked.

Felicity nodded. “I hope so.” She told him before her computer started to beep. “Uh, there's an out of control riot at Starling National Bank and there's been an ESU dispatched.” Felicity told the team knowing they would take care of that problem whilst she focussed on this one.

Digg shook his head. “That's like fighting fire with gasoline.” He stated in his deep voice.

Oliver turned to Roy. “Suit up.” He told the younger man who nodded in return, before they both went to get in to their suits.

Oliver and Roy went to stop the riot whilst Felicity tried to multi-task between hacking in to this virus and talking to Oliver and Roy over the comms and Thea and Laurel trained. Digg had a comm in to as he sat next to Felicity, trying to help in any way he could but, he found, he couldn't even keep up with how fast she was speaking let alone how fast she was typing. Honestly, he thought her fingers may catch fire if she typed any quicker.

“We can't calm the whole city Felicity, how far are you with the virus?” Oliver asked through the comm as he stared at the city beneath him.

“I'm just combing through now, it's a mile past complex.” Felicity updated them as she looked through the virus with careful, but speedy, eyes. 

Felicity continued to look around for another ten seconds before she recognised something. And then something else. And then something else. A second later she was struck with a horrifying realisation. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Felicity said, desperately trying to prove herself wrong, only to be greeted with utter disappointment and a definitive result.

Oliver's voice came through concerned over the comm. “What is it Felicity?” He asked. Digg turned to look at Felicity and both Thea and Laurel had come over, concern was evident on everyone's faces.

“The virus, I can't stop it.” Felicity told the frantically.

Roy saw Oliver's eyebrows draw together in confusion before he spoke again. “How do you know?”

“Because it's mine.” Felicity admitted and gulped. “I wrote it in collage.” 

Everyone round her went rigid, but the confusion still remained. Deciding this was not a discussion to have over the comms Oliver ground out a “We're on our way back.” Before muting the comms and started making his way to the foundry with Roy in tow. 

Felicity put her good arm up on to the desk and leant her head in it, enjoying the sensation of her cold hands on her temples, after removing her glasses. 

Digg tried to comfortingly touch her, Thea tried to comfort her, and Laurel tried to pump her for information (always a lawyer), but Felicity just asked swatted them away and asked them to leave her alone until Roy and Oliver arrived.

It was a little less than ten minuets later when she heard the foundry door open and Oliver's footsteps behind her. He knew he was making sound on purpose so she knew he was there, because if he wanted to be he could be as silent as a cat.

When the footsteps came to a stop just inches away from her chair Felicity span around to face everyone. “Okay, okay, I know” She started. Diggle and the rest of the team were standing a few feet away at the other desk and Oliver was stood, as expected, right in front of her. “Just let me explain.” Felicity rushed out before anyone could say anything. She had to get this out now. It wasn't the worst thing she'd ever done, but she still felt guilty, especially because of what was happening now.

“At MIT I was in a little group of hacker, I-uh-well, I created a virus that could break in to any infected server. We could expose government fraud, digitally deface criminals, stuff like that.” Felicity took another deep breath and standing up before continuing. “I made it but I didn't ever imagine it being used for anything like this. I mean, I probably could have imagined it, I have a very vivid imagination, like when y-” Oliver cuts her off mid-ramble and Felicity was glad. She was about to say something really really embarrassing.   
“Hey,” Oliver said softly, placing his big, warm hand on her good shoulder again. “Just take a breath.” He told her, staring deep in to her bright blue eyes and she did as he said. “Good.” He praised her nodding slightly. “Do you know who could have done this?” Oliver asked and Felicity gave a jerky nod of her head, feeling the panic start to bubble back up inside of her. “Who?” He asked gently.

Felicity shook her head, her mouth opening and closing like a fish, the panic choking her. “I-I can't” She said. Oliver wrapped his arms around her, holding her head to his chest.

“It's okay Felicity, you can tell me, it's fine.” Oliver said soothingly.

“No, he's dangerous he-I-” Felicity stops speaking, not because she wants to, but because the words don't want to come out. They were getting lost in the sea of anxiety slowly filling up her entire body. She pulled away fro Oliver shaking her head at the situation, at herself, at everything.

Oliver was getting frustrated now. Not really with Felicity, but because he was worried. Not for the city, but for Felicity. If she'd created this then this person may be able to incriminate her somehow and if she wouldn't give them his name then they couldn't stop that from happening. “Why? What's so bad about him? Other than the fact he's taking over the city. We've faced worse than a hacker before. I don't see the problem!”

Felicity started to walk away from him, she needed air and she suddenly found that there was a lack of it down here. Oliver reached out to grab any part of her to keep her here, to get her to tell him who this person was so they could stop him, but instead of grabbing a piece of clothing or her good hand, he grabbed her injured arm. Felicity shrieked at the sudden pain in her arm as she turned back to face Oliver. 

Immediately letting go of her, Oliver stepped back with a look of shock and horror in his eyes. She should be afraid. Felicity knew she should be afraid. But she wasn't. This was Oliver and she knew with all of her heart that he'd never truly hurt her and she could see, from just one look in his eyes, how bad he felt. It was a pity Oliver didn't realise that. That he couldn't hurt her. That she would never be afraid of him. That he wasn't and could never be a monster in anyone-who-actually-knew-him's eyes. 

“I'm sorry Felicity, I don't- I didn't mean to. I-I'm so sorry.” Oliver spoke, running his hands over his head. Felicity shook her head at him, trying to show him how silly he was being.

Felicity walked up to him and he tries to step away but she doesn't let him. Instead Oliver looks away. Felicity's good hand is on his face in an instant, her bad arm staying glued to her side for now as she tried to ignore the pain, gently forcing him to look at her. She could see the look of guilt in his eyes she'd always hated. Every time she saw it, it broke her heart.

“It's okay.” She promised him and took off his mask, which up until now had still been on his face. “I'm alright, see?” Felicity said lifting her bad arm and using that hand to gently stroke his cheeck. “It doesn't even hurt tat much.” She told him. It was a lie, of course, currently her arm was throbbing in a pain bad enough to make her feel sick, but she didn't like him blaming himself. It wasn't his fault she was hurt, and she was the one who had taken off the stupid sling in the first place. What he did was an accident ad accidents happen.

“No. No, it's my fault.” He said as if reading her thoughts. “All of it. You getting taken in the first place was because I wasn't protecting you, you got shot because I let you get taken, then I hurt you, I-” Felicity cut him off. It was her turn to be frustrated again.

“No!” Felicity shouted loud and everyone froze, shocked at the blondes outburst.

The rest of the team were already feeling slightly awkward, confused, and concerned, but hearing Felicity snap like that shocked them all.

“First of all, it is NOT your fault. You hear me? What made you think you let me do anything anyway? Huh? Newsflash Queen, You don't control me. I am my own person who makes her own decisions and who can't have you trying to protect her from everything!” Oliver started to iterrupt but Felicity gave him a look which told him she was far from done and to shut up.

“And second: It's his fault, this guy who's using the virus, it's all his fault! Not yours! His name is Cooper Seldon, he was my boyfriend in collage, I created this virus and he went to jail for using it which was my fault, then he fakes his death and kidnapped me two years ago! Then, if that wasn't enough, he used my super virus to take over the whole god damned city! Everything is his fault! Hell, everything is my fault! So don't even try and blame yourself for what has happened.

“And third: I get to decide who I blame for what happened to me, not you, not Cooper, Not Digg, not some stranger in the street, me. And that's final.” Felicity finished her rant and put the hand on her good arm to her head. 

“Felicity...” Oliver said softly but trailed off when he couldn't think of anything else to say. There was too much he wanted to say, all of great importance, that no way of phrasing it seemed god enough.

Felicity put her hand up to stop him. “I just need to be alone for a minuet.” She said before walking out of the foundry.

The team watched Felicity walk out in silence, none of them saying a word. It took all of three minuets for Oliver's eyes to go wide and for him to dart up the stairs as he realised they'd left Felicity alone when her psycho ex-boyfriend/kidnapper was on the loose and probably out to get her after she escaped his captivity. Everyone else seemed to realise this too and ran out after him, only to be met with nothing but air. No Felicity, no one.

“Felicity!” Oliver called once but knew it was a lost cause. “Dammit!” He shouted again, kicking the wall.

“Oliver man, you gotta calm down, give her phone a ring, and being angry isn't going to help find her.” Diggle told him, always the level-headed voice of reason, even when his heart was breaking in his chest for his blonde, little sister whom he'd only just got back.

“It happened again! I let it happen again!” Oliver shouted angrily, ignoring Diggle's words all together.

“For god's sakes Oliver! Did you not just hear her?” Thea shouted at him.

“Yeah, she just told you not to blame yourself! You're not the one who made her walk out or who did this to her, that was her decision, this is all on him! And unless we are all terribly mistaken, you're not the one who's, presumably, taken her again! So get your act together and help her! You are not the only one that cares about her!” Roy exploded. He was becoming over protective, annoyed, and worried. Felicity was like a big sister to him and he'd already lost her once. They all had. He understood what Oliver was going through, he knew Oliver was still in love with Felicity even after all this time and so that made it ten times worse for him, but Felicity is in trouble and probably freaking out right now and him shouting and being all growly wasn't helping her at all. And they all loved her too.

“What?” Oliver shouted. “I told you we couldn't bring her here! I said it would get her in trouble! But you insisted.”

“What do you mean 'bring her here'? Oli, she's told you already, what she does isn't up to us. You know if she wanted to help no one would have been able to keep her from coming down in to the foundry.” Laurel spoke up for the first time, trying to stay calm even though her friend was possibly hurt and the rest of her friends were screaming at each other.

Oliver was about to start screaming at Laurel too but Digg butted in before he got the chance. “Oliver man, calm down. We have to get to the bottom of this and find her. It's not Roy's fault and it's not yours either. Laurels right, if Felicity wanted to help out do you really believe we could have stopped her? Plus, if we'd have left her at home by herself then Cooper would have gotten to her sooner, and we'd have no idea who we were even looking for or what was going on.” Digg said in a calm voice, eventually getting through to Oliver who sighed and nodded in defeat. 

“Let's go down in to the lair and get whatever information we can gather on where she is and I'll call her to make sure she hasn't just walked home.” Thea said and Oliver nodded gratefully, although he knew his little sister wasn't doing this for him, she was doing it for Felicity.

They ll walked back down in to the lair and Oliver started beating on some poor punching bags as hard as he could and Thea called Felicity's phone a few times, as promised, only for it to keep going to voice mail as expected. 

Even though everyone had tried to talk him out of it, he still couldn't help but think how he'd let Felicity down again. He had promised her that he wouldn't let her get hurt again and there she was, being kidnapped by the same sicko who took her and did god-knows-what to her last time. 

He knew these thoughts wouldn't leave his head until he had Felicity back in the safety of his arms, reassuring him that she was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Leave any suggestions; thank you to everyone leaving kudos and reviews, they mean a lot. :)


	8. Shannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team go to rescue Felicity and Cooper brings more guilt on to her heavy shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! I admit my writing in this sucks a bit, I was very tired after not even nearly enough sleep.

When Felicity woke up, she found her movement was restricted. She was tied to a chair. Felicity struggled against her ties, further hurting her already throbbing shoulder, and her breathing became ragged. Felicity found struggling against the ties to be useless and only causing her more pain and her brain to go foggy. 

Felicity closed her eyes tight, blocking out the fear and trying to remember what had happened so she could work out where she was.

She remembered she was standing in the alley outside Verdant, she hadn't been paying attention again (I mean seriously? You'd have thought she would have learnt by now) and therefore failed to notice the well-built man coming up behind her until it was too late and he'd already stuck the sedative in her neck. 

All Felicity knew on where she was is that she had to be in Starling city still because Cooper was in the middle of a job, and in all the time she'd known him, Cooper had never left a job half done -- it just wasn't in his nature.

At the sound of footsteps Felicity's eyes snapped open and her head came up to see Cooper coming closer and closer to her weak, defenceless body. 

“Hey baby, you're awake.” Cooper said with a sick, sadistic smile. 

Felicity looked towards him in fear, not speaking, not trusting her voice.

“Now, I'm going to need you to do something for me before we go back to a new base where me and y team can lock you up and punish you, okay? Because 'Brother Eye' has threatened the banks, the mayor has requested some fresh cash to be delivered. It only follows the route shown on the satnav and I need that money. So, I want you to hack in to the satnav so the route ends here. Do you understand?” Cooper asked her, and although she knew it wasn't really a question, Felicity found herself answering anyway.

Felicity gulped down her fear before speaking. “Why can't you do it?” She asked, surprising herself with how strong her voice actually sounded.

“Because Felicity, we both know I'm not as good of a hacker as you are and it's government protected so we're going to need a good hacker, and you, Felicity Smoak, are the best of the best.” Cooper replied, giving her a small wink.

Narrowing her eyes at him and gaining a little strength, Felicity straightened up in the chair, tilting her chin up slightly in defiance. “No. I won't help you. You can torture me or kill me but I will not help you. I am done letting you take control of me. I am done.” 

Cooper smirked slightly, making Felicity's stomach do a nervous flip, before replying. “I figured you'd say that, which is why I got a little bit of insurance.” He told her and, as if one cue, in came two of Cooper's guards holding a tied up Shannon – Felicity's only friend from in that awful place Cooper had them locked up in.

“No!” Felicity screamed frantically as she watched Shannon being tied to a chair a few feet from her. “Let her go! She hasn't done anything!”

“Then do as I say.” Cooper told her, shrugging his shoulders in faux nonchalance.

Shannon bit back her cries and shook her head. “Don't help him with anything. It's okay. I'll be okay.” She spoke, her voice cracking at the end. Shannon was younger than Felicity, but she was still wise beyond her years. She had been taken to the prison-like hell a little after Felicity had and they had stuck by each other the whole time. Felicity felt responsible to Shannon and slmost like an older sister to the girl. 

Felicity hadn't meant to, her mind has just ran away from her, but she had frozen for a second and Cooper had taken it for hesitation.

“Fine.” Cooper had said before shooting Shannon's leg.

The shot rang out in the echoing room, startling every body, as Shannons's scream cut right through Felicity and broke her heart in two.

“Stop! Stop, I'll do it!” Felicity shouted as loud as she could, making sure Cooper heard her. She couldn't let Shannon get hurt again. Not for her.

Cooper smiled at her before untying Felicity's hands, and pushing Felicity's chair over to the computer that sat on a desk in the middle of the otherwise empty room. He held a gun to Felicity's head as his guards held a gun to Shannon's head, just to ensure no one would try nything. 

Felicity took a deep breath before hacking in to the servers, re-routing the delivery truck, doing exactly as Cooper had asked. It barely took her twenty seconds and she recalled telling team Fash a while back that 'when it comes to hacking, I'm the fastest woman alive'.

“It's done.” Felicity ground out. “Now let her go.” She tried to sound strong but her voice came out pleading.

Earlier when Felicity was the one being threatened, she hadn't cared, not as much as hse did now tht Shannon was being threatened. Now she had too much to loose.

Cooper tied Felicity's hands to the computer desk, to make sure she couldn't escape, before starting to walk out. “Not yet.” Was all he said before Cooper and his guards walked out, leaving Felicity and Shannon alone, but still ultimately helpless.

Felicity sighed. “Are you okay?” She asked Shannon, she didn't know how bad the wound was and wanted to know if Shannon was about to bleed out right in front of her.

“I'm fine, it's not that bad, I don't think it hit anything major.” Shannon spoke truthfully, as if reading Felicity's mind.

Felicity just nodded, staring at the computers. There was nothing she could do, Cooper had only turned the internet on for a second so she could hack in to the delivery system before turning it back off again. He wasn't stupid, she'd give him that much.

About a minuet later there was a small beeping sound coming from behind Felicity, making her turn as much as she could to face Shannon in curiosity. “What was that?” Felicity asked.

“Oh, I made it home to my family and they all showered me with gifts. My uncle, Ray Palmer the billionaire, gave me a prototype for one of his new watches. It's meant to basically replace your whole computer. It chimes on the hour.” Shannon explained with the smallest of smiles on her face at the fond, but short-lived, memory.

Felicity thought for a second before suddenly it was like a flip was switched in her brain. “Oh my god.” Felicity breathed out in disbelief, making Shannon's head snap up to look at her. “It has wifi. We're going to get out of here.” Felicity said and got busy on the computer.

The restrains meant she couldn't go anywhere but she could still reach the keyboard on her computer so she didn't have to worry about escaping from them. Felicity used the wifi from the watch to connect the computer to the internet, sending a quick message to Oliver, hoping that he'd get here in time and unharmed. 

By the time Cooper had come back, Felicity had shut off the computer once again, making it look like nothing had happened. 

Walking in the room, Cooper saw something move in the shadows, the arrow, her hero. 

Felicity felt a spark of hope inside of her at the sight of him. 

Oliver held his bow ready and loaded, pointing at Cooper. “Let them go.” He demanded through his voice modulator.

“Oh Felicity, you've always been smart, but so am I.” Cooper told her making her doubt her plan, before pressing a button causing guns to start shooting at Oliver and followed him everywhere he moved.

Felicity watched in fear as Oliver narrowly avoided getting hit, taking out the guns one by one, but not without difficulty. Oliver's worry and determination to keep Felicity safe were what spurred him to keep moving. 

Oliver was working on taking out the last two guns when Cooper turned back to face her, thinking that maybe the green vigilante would be able to get passed his trap. “Oh little naive Felicity. You thought you could beat me, but no, whether you manage to get out of this or not, you are going to have to live with the fact that this girl here, your friend, died because of you.” He said before aiming the gun at Shannon and pressing on the trigger.

Felicity screamed “No!” as she watched Shannon's lifeless body slump over in the chair she'd been sat in. The bullet had gone straight through her and Felicity couldn't take her eyes off of the blood as it poured through the hole in Shannon's head. She was dead.

Felicity weakly struggled against the ties on her arms once more as she watched Oliver – who was now standing in front of them – stood looking form the body and then back to Felicity, trying t work out who the were to each other.

Using the moment of shock to his advantage, Cooper quickly untied Felicity and held her, with his arm securely around her neck and the gun pressed in to her head.

Oliver froze, his bow and arrow ready to shoot Cooper, knowing that if he did let the arrow fly, Cooper would have enough time to pull the trigger and end Felicity's life.

Felicity knew this also and she knew she needed to do something about it if she wanted to survive. And, although she didn't really care much for herself, she cared for Oliver, she wasn't about to let him loose someone else. She wasn't going to leave him again, this time for good.

Felicity took a deep breath before doing what she had to do. Catching Cooper by surprise, Felicity grabbed the gun whilst simultaneously elbowing Cooper in the chest making him fall a couple steps backwards in shock. She had the gun trained on him, thinking of all the horrible things he's done to her and others, thinking of how easy it would be to end his life and get her revenge right here right now.

“Go on then, do it, kill someone else. Be the murderer I turned you in to.” Cooper mocked her, the look in his eyes filled with fear betraying his spitefully joking tone.

'No' Felicity decided, 'I won't give in to him'. 

With that thought she moved the gun, so instead of his head it was now trained on his leg, and she shot. Felicity knew it wouldn't kill him, but it did make him fall to the ground in pain. 

“Felicity.” Oliver spoke, again through his voice modulator but she could still hear the desperate way he said her name, bringing her out of her thoughts. 

Felicity walked over to Cooper, gun still in hand, and kicked him in the temple, knocking him out. She then turned back around to face Oliver and the gun fell from her hand, to the floor. Locking her eyes with Oliver, Felicity made her way over to him and was immediately wrapped up in his warm embrace. 

Oliver turned off his voice modulator before speaking again. “Are you alright?” He asked, face buried in her gorgeous hair. Felicity shook her head in response and he tightened his arms around her. “What's wrong?” Oliver asked even though he knew there were so many things she could choose from. So many things that were so very wrong. 

“She was my friend.” Felicity spoke softly. “She was my friend and he killed her. And I'm still. Not. Crying.” Her voice started to rise as she got more frustrated. “Oliver, why can't I cry?” She shouted and he started moving his hands, softly, up and down her back in a calming manor. 

“It's alright. Everything will be okay. You will cry eventually and you'll wish you never did.” He whispered lovingly in to her ear, before taking a long breath in. “Come on, let's get you home and we can talk more later, alright?” Oliver asked, wanting to make sure she felt in control whilst her life spiralled in pieces all around her. Felicity just nodded in to his leather, but didn't move to pull away.

By now Felicity's arm was killing and she honestly thought she might pass out from the pain, but she wouldn't tell anyone. Also, the bruises that still lived on her legs along with the fact she'd not yet eaten lunch made her legs feel like jelly, so it was highly difficult to keep standing. And the bruises on her ribs, that shot a sharp pain through her lungs whenever she so much as breathed, were certainly not helping things.

Oliver pulled away from Felicity slightly, still keeping a hand on her arm scared that if he let her go she would get taken from him again, and put his bow and unused arrow on his back. Then, without warning, as if reading Felicity's mind, he picked her up, bridal style. Felicity's arms slowly snaked around his neck and she buried her head in to the crook of his neck, letting her self indulge in Oliver's warmth and the feeling she got when she was this close to him. 

“Are you alright?” Felicity asked him, remembering the millions of bullets flying everywhere. She hadn't actually seen any hit him, but that didn't mean she hadn't missed one or two.

Felicity felt Oliver nod against the top of her head. “I'm good now I know you're safe.” He told her truthfully, carrying her out of the building. Sirens could be heard in the distance, growing closer and closer by the second. Felicity breathed a shaky breath against his collar bone. “They'll arrest him for taking you, assuming you told the police who took you, and then he'll be arrested for what he did to the girl in there, and for the brother eye thing.” Oliver told her and Felicity nodded, confirming that she did tell the police the name of her attacker. “Good, but they'll probably still need you to go in to the station again, just to confirm they've got the right guy.” He said and Felicity nodded once again.

Sometimes it amazed Felicity how great Oliver was at taking care of her, especially when he was usually no good at taking care of himself. “Thank you.” She whispered in to his ear, so he could hear it loud and clear, even over the loud sounds of the city.

“For what?”

“For always saving me, never letting me down, for being a hero even if you don't always see it.” Felicity explained and Oliver tensed in disbelief. “I know you don't believe me, but no matter what you or anyone else thinks, you, Oliver Queen, are Starling City's hero.” Felicity told him, her voice stronger than it previously had been, determined to get Oliver to realise how important and how amazing he was. “You're my hero” She added with conviction.

“Always.” He promised her, kissing her head. Oliver didn't believe that he could be a hero, but he knew he would always save Felicity, so that is what he promised her. If, with the life that they both led, he couldn't keep his promise to always keep her safe, he would promise her this instead.

Oliver carried Felicity back to her house and placed her in her bed. Felicity passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow making Oliver frown. He was glad she was getting the sleep she needed, but he really hoped he could get some food in to her first. But food would have to wait. 

He got changed in to a spare change of clothes Oliver had left here from when he would sometimes sleep on her couch: joggers and a T-shirt.

Then, once he was changed, Oliver walked back in to Felicity's room and just watched her from the chair next to her bed, as she slept. He knew it sounded creepy, but he just needed to know she was okay. 

Whilst Felicity slept, Oliver went through all of the events of that night, finally allowing himself to question what different things, that had happened or been said, meant.

It was only about an hour later when Felicity woke up, screaming and thrashing around on her bed. Oliver managed to eventually calm her down and Felicity sat up, resting her head in her hands.

After a while, Oliver asked Felicity some of the questions he still needed answers to. “What did Cooper mean when he said you were going to kill again?” He asked.

Felicity sat up straighter and turned to look at Oliver. “He, um, he said that girl, Shannon, that her death was my fault, so I guess he just meant that.” Felicity lied. She hated lying to him, but if she told him the truth she knew he would never look at her the same again and she liked the way Oliver looked at her now. Like she was the old Felicity, The innocent Felicity who'd never had to kill.

Oliver nodded. “How did you know how to use a gun?” 

“I didn't, must just have good aim.” Felicity lied again. “Though, I was aiming for his arm.” Felicity added, hoping that she would say it like the old Felicity and make it sound believable, but when she said it her voice was cold and free of emotion.

“Okay,” Oliver said. “Do you believe Shannon dying was your fault?” He asked his last question of the night.

“Yes,” Felicity replied honestly. “She was only there so that I would od as I was told. She was killed because I didn't listen. She-” Oliver cut her off.

“You told me today that everything that had happened was his fault, not anyone else's. Felicity, he would have killed you both if you hadn't contacted me and the team, you saved yourself Felicity. It was either just you or no one getting out of there. Shannon would have wanted you to get out and live.” Oliver told her before standing up. “I'll be back in a second.” He promised before leaving Felicity to think about what he had just said. 

Felicity knew it was probably true, but if he knew the truth he would probably say she deserved to die at Cooper's hand instead of Shannon. But for now, she would enjoy Oliver's comfort as he was ignorant to everything bad she had done. For now she would relish in the way he looked at her. For now she would let herself be taken care of by him, because she knew that he would eventually find out and the her for everything she had done.

Oliver returned a few minuets later with two glasses of water, two PB&J sandwiches, and two packs of salt and vinegar crisps. Felicity's stomach growled at the thought of food and they both laughed lightly, breaking the tension that had been building up between them.

They ate their food, making light conversation as they did, and once they were done, Oliver took the empty glasses, plates, and packets back to the kitchen and tidied up. When he returned again he sat down in his seat once more.

“You should get some more sleep.” Oliver told her as he looked over Felicity's tired eyes.

She didn't want to go to sleep. That;s when the nightmares came. She didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night, trapped in one of her nightmares, and not be able to shake herself back to reality. But at the same time she knew Oliver needed his sleep and didn't want to make him stay. “So should you.” Was all she replied with.

Oliver sighed. “I'm not leaving you, I'll just sleep in this chair.” He told her.

Felicity shook her head and bit her lip, knowing there was nothing she could say to make him leave her side. Well, apart from if she told him she'd killed someone, but she wasn't going to ruin their friendship with that just yet. “You could sleep in my bed? If you wanted to, I mean. It would make sense, right?” She asked. Felicity was well aware of how uncomfortable that chair was, and they'd shared a bed the night before anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal. 

Oliver looked at Felicity, as if he was trying to work her out. “Are you sure?” He asked eventually and Felicity nodded in response, moving up to make room for him in her king sized bed. 

First they both just lay facing away from each other, but eventually Oliver can't take it any more and turns towards her, having to be able to see her to know she was okay. Felicity, who was still not asleep, turned to face Oliver after hearing him move, and mutually they moved closer together until Oliver had Felicity wrapped in his arms, stroking his hair until she fell to sleep.

It was as if they were magnets, gravitating towards each other. Not even their own willpower being able to keep each one of them from the other.


End file.
